Thursday, May 5, 2011

I'm Just A Bill, Yeah I'm Only A Bill

You know what I LOOOOOVE? Facebook fights. They are HA-larious. I love reading them and then commenting right in the middle of heat. Usually I like to comment irrelevant stuff just to piss people off. Things such as "my crayon bleeds purple." and "So my period started today." I love how these people are FRIENDS! HA! It's so great. And it's always about dumb stuff like politics. And then everyone joins against one person. And I kinda feel bad for that person but then again, it's their own damn fault for not learning social skills. Or taking medication to at least pretend they have social skills.
I have no idea what good or bad Obama has done in office, and frankly I don't want you to tell me. I have no opinion on abortion 1.) because I'm not a unborn fetus. 2.) I'm not knocked up 3.) I'm not God. I don't think a grostky 80 yr old senator from Delaware should have an opinion either. because 1.) he's not an unborn fetus. 2.) He's not knocked up(and if he is,he better be for Gay marriage...) and 3.) even though he probably thinks he is...he's not God either. Don't ask me what's the situation in Libya because I didn't know that was country until like 5 weeks ago. And the only thing I know about Senatorial shtuff and other political things are limited to what was shown on School of Rock. This is what I do know:
I'm ECSTATIC Bin Laden is dead.
I think the government is taking way to much out of my paycheck and I really don't know why but I'll forgive them because they give it back.
We are always saving other countries asses when they have a "natural disaster" or a "war" but last time I checked, no one was hauling ass over here when Katrina hit or when Alabama had a shit-load of tornadoes.
I wasn't planning on inviting ANY political figure to my wedding soooo...why do they care who I am marrying if they don't get a choice of chicken or steak at the reception.
And I will vote for whoever wants to fund my college education.
I used to be really in the dark about current events. I never watched the news until one day I met the silverfox of my dreams: Anderson Cooper.
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS GUY???!!! He's delicious. Even Simon Cowell can't pull off a tight Under Armor Tee while hanging on to a flagpole in the middle of a hurricane/ bloody revolution. I don't care if he is only 2 years younger than my mother (hands off lady I dibs first). The man ages like a GOD! You would think all the sorrow and horror this dude has seen he would AT LEAST have worry wrinkles. None my friends...none. I always dreamed that one day I will amaze him with my spunky political knowledge and before you know it Im picking out his tie for the next gripping episode of ANDERSON COOPER 360! Every night at 8pm I'm all about government budgets and political scandals, and human suffering and whatever. The man could be doing a report on staplers and I'm HOOKED. Alot of people think he's gay. If this is true I would be in grieving for like 6 months. I have NO problem with homosexuals. I have awesome friends who are gay and I love that they are happy with their lifestyle. I'm all for Gay rights. I just don't like the men I find attractive gay. Which I think is understandable. Sooooo anyways. My chances of meeting Anderson Cooper are the same of Charlie Sheen becoming normal. So I will continue pretending I know what they are talking about when they say "health care reform" and "government shutdowns" (that was reallllly lame by the way, way to work everyone up and then hang us out to dry.) And I will continue interrupting people's persnickety facebook fights. You have been warned losers.

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