Wednesday, January 30, 2013

We Are Never Ever Ever Procreating. (Sing to the tune of that Super Dumb Taylor Swift song)

The last few days have been really awesome birth control. If it goes on for very much longer I think I'll just scrape my internal sexual organs out with a noodle ladle. 
Yesterday I was puked on, sneezed on and cried at for 8 hours. I tried tv shows, books, bottles, binkies, nothing would work. The second I got in the car I lost it. Like compulsive sobbing lost it. When I got home Brody said he wanted to take me out to dinner. I looked down at my puked stain shirt and started to cry again. When I left this morning my shirt and pants were clean my hair was in a cute little bun, now half my hair is out and my pants are also soaked in puke. Yummy. 
I showered and changed into some clothes that were not covered in snot and puke and we had dinner at a Sushi restaurant. It was totally different for us to do since it was a Tuesday night. I really appreciate that Brody did that for me and us. We haven't done something spontaneous like that in a long time!
In other news. I just found out that I will have my Discover Card paid off in April....YAAAY! So happy that I will have one thing done and can start paying another bill off. But I did the math and if I keep paying what I'm paying'll take me 22 years to pay everything off. Yeah. I'm back at the drawing board.
I was speaking to an old friend the other day about everything that was going on. She was really surprised that I "quit" Slumber Parties. I put that in quotations because it's more of a "hiatus" then "quitting". 
"But you were SO good at it and it seemed like such a natural fit for you!"
"Yeah I know but if I'm going to have my own business I want to have the time and the money to invest in it. With the blog and the job, I just don't have time. Should I stop blogging?"
"NO! If you do that not only will people miss you, but you have a really amazing talent with writing and you would be wasting it. If anything quit the job and do Slumber Parties and the blogging." 
"I WISH! But I would need time to put my name out and get more clients and add more stock and like I said, time and money. I mean it's not like I need to spend like a thousand dollars but I'm more concerned with bills. And I'm trying to save up for Real Estate school."
"Yeah, why are you doing that? Not saying you wouldn't be great or that you shouldn't do it but just wondering."
"I need a job with ADULT interaction, I need a job that makes the dough, everyday is different and I love customer service...when people aren't dumb."
"Honey I hate to burst your bubble....but didn't you just describe Slumber Parties?"
...................."Uh...yeah...I did." 
"Ok so how much a month are you saving up for school?"
"Well it costs $500 I'm putting away maybe $40 a month. And then the test cost something and then I have to pay to belong to some realtor club thingy. So I'm like a too legit to quit realtor person."
"So let's just aim big here and say it'll cost you $1000 to do everything you need to do."
"Okey dokey."
"If you had saved that would you rather put it towards Slumber Parties...or real estate?"
"Can I ask the audience? Or phone a friend?"
"There's no correct answer Ari. It's just up to you."
"You know...sometimes I would really like to find the manual that came with me when I was born and flip to chapter 23 and see what I'm supposed to do."
"Don't say the only manual is the Bible or quote that Natasha Bedingfield song and say my life is a book and I am the author or some cheesy shit like that."
"Holy shit....that was exactly what I was going to say." 
I still don't know what I want to do. I get so frustrated because it seems like every 10 minutes I change my mind. It makes me feel really angry at myself. I hate that I am SO indecisive. Every time I change my mind I feel like I am not acting like a responsible adult. When I was in high school if I changed what I wanted to do when I "grew up" there were a lot of teachers and tutors who would make fun of me or not support me and it hurt. And I still feel that way today. I know that it annoys Brody sometimes when it comes to certain things. It's something that I really don't like about myself and wish I could change it. I also wish there was those big ass signs that you would see and then you knew the answer. I never had one of those. I never had a defining moment where I said "I KNOW I should be doing this." Except for when I realized I would like to do Slumber Parties. But I don't know if I was ready for that responsibility at that time. I would LOVE to change this part of my brain. But how do you start? Was there something you did not like about yourself mentally, emotionally or spiritually so you changed it? And how did you do it?
Well there is one thing that I DO know. And that is: I am very good at sleeping. If anyone needed a professional sleeper, I'd be the chick. So I do believe that I will be taking my indecisive ass to bed and I will sleep on all the questions I am pondering. Stay classy interwebs. 

Monday, January 28, 2013

This Post Has Everything! Vodka! Birth Control! Crying!

I know I say it a lot in my posts, but winter can suck it. I am SO tired of snow and ice and cold and bad commutes! And the sad thing with Utah is that we never know when it will start and when it will end. It can start in October or it can start in January. It can end in March or it can end in May! We've had snow in June before! People in Alaska are like "Shut up." But um, I don't live in Alaska for a reason. 
So Saturday I had a Girls Day! Oh I needed it bad. The only two adults I interact with during the week is my boss and Brody, I only interact with one other person duing the week...and it's the 20 month old Toddler that I watch. So I interact with two girls during the whole week. One is a professional interaction and one is all about coloring and singing "The Wheels On The Bus.". Yeah, by Friday I was pretty much to my limit. So much so that I began crying because Brody was watching some manly movie and I just wanted to watch Sex and the City. (more about this crying thing later...) I fell asleep by by bowl of Top Ramen at 8:45. On a friday night. I may look like a 23 year old but man, sometimes I think I'm closer to 70. 
Yeah. That's me. So on Saturday I woke up a little bit before 7am. And I watched a marathon of Golden Girls. (refer to comment above about me being 70). I went over to my friend Jamie's house around 130 and AWESOMEST GIRL DAY commenced. Which consisted of Chik-Fil-A (and watching a girl steal an entire basket of mints...klepto...I suspect she was one of those YOLO tardhats.) getting me drunk (150 proof does 2 things for Arielle: 1.) gets her wasted SUPER fast. 2.) Makes her magically know the words to "Love Is A Battlefield.") going to Maverick drunk, Jamie finding out that if I laugh REALLY hard I snort (this is how I made friends in summer camp.) more laughter, and awesome girl talks. I REALLY needed this girls day. I felt like a brand new chick afterwards. Probably due to the 150 proof vodka that was now pumping through my blood stream. But whatever,. So Brody came and picked me up after his boys night (boy need to have their bromances just as much as girls need their gal pals) I forgot that if I'm really drunk I get the shivers really bad, so Brody, who was dying of heat, had to blast the heat all the way home. The next day Brody left to go snowboarding and I nursed my mega-hangover. And it began to snow...again. On his way home from boarding Brody's car slid off the road and got stuck. Um. Scariest voicemail I ever received. Oh and the best part is, they no longer make chargers for my phone so I only have one for my car and my phone is almost dead, my car is at Jamie's house. Yeah. Awesome. So after worrying and worrying Brody finally got home. After a quick dinner we left go to get my car. Now the roads are covered in snow. No plows in sight (way to go). It takes us about an hour to get to Jamie's and the ride home was SUPER stressful. I was going 20 mph and still sliding everywhere. There are idiots in HUGE trucks going like 70 mph and sliding everywhere and semi passing me and blowing snow onto my car and they can't stay in their own lane. I was on the verge of tears the whole way home.

 When I got home, I was so stressed my stomach was in knots. All my stress goes into my stomach and my shoulder blades. If I'm really stressed I toss my cookies and you can actually see the knots coming out of my shoulder blades. I did both of those things last night. We were so exhausted by the end of the night that we just went to bed. By 9 pm. 

So more about the whole "crying over the fact that I can't watch a TV show." Over the past 4 or 5 months I have been really anxious, depressed, and moody, all I want to do is sleep and I have no appetite at all. It started out as only feeling that way on my period. But about 2 months ago it started the week before my period. Now it is ALL the time. Well not all the time, I have my good moments. But I have also been hiding it A LOT. I'll have huge panic attacks or anxiety attacks when Brody's not home. I always get these huge attacks and think he is going to leave me or cheat on me (which in my sane state of mind I know he would NEVER do that) I get really mad or irritated with people and they don't even do anything. I have been trying SO hard not to lash out at Brody because he never deserves to be treated that way. But sometimes I do and up til last night he had no idea why. Last night when he got home I was seriously to the end of my rope and couldn't hold on anymore. The whole day yesterday I was anxious, depressed and weepy. I tried not to be when he got home because the whole snow situaton really stressed him out and I didn't want to stress him more but then the lightbulb went off. I started feeling super moody about a month after I switched birth control. I got online and researched it and found out alot of other women had the same issue. At that point I was just so relieved to know it wasn't me and it was something that could be fixed, that I started getting emotional and shaking. I finally told Brody and now I am going to talk to my doctor about switching, I am so happy that I can finally feel normal again. If anyone has any recommendations let me know please!!!
Back on the moving out of state front. Brody is getting more and more serious about the moving. I asked for one more year. I would really like to move back up near Roy where we are closer to family and friends and maybe next winter won't be as bad as this winter was. So we are still not set in concrete about our decision. I think I am more back and forth about this whole moving thing than Brody is. But I know that if it is meant to be it will happen and the universe will show us what we need to do. That's how it always works, doesn't it?  

Thursday, January 24, 2013

A Sizzle to Z Dizzle Yo...

I saw this cutesy blog post thing so I decided to give is a try! It's called A-Z. Not Arizona...though I would be very happy to be there right about friend April just moved there! Hey GURRRRLLL. Ok. Sorry. Got off track for a second...annnyways.

A: Age- 23. 

B: Bed size- uh we sleep in a full size bed...yeah Brody is 6'3 and I'm 5'11...and Taffy magically grows 2 feet taller as soon as she sprawls out on the bed, I will probably cry the day we get a bigger bed.

C: Chore You Hate- DISHES! And putting laundry away.

D: Dogs- um no. Santa forgot to bring me one.

E: Essential Start To Your Day-  I have to go potty....

F: Favorite Color- like an aqua or a minty blue tourquoisey color.

G: Gold or Silver? Rose gold. It's the boss.

H: Height- Please see letter B.

I: Instruments You Play- none. Except sometimes I poke Taffy until she meows angrily at me. Does that count?

                                                            (Heheheh...She's so angry...)
J: Job Title- Nanny, Wanna be SAHB...Stay At Home Blogger.

K: Kids- no. I don't want any right now. Please god give me at least 3 more years of freedom.

L: Love - Brody, my Taffy kitty-witty-wittigens, My mommy, my sister, my Freestone family, my job, Disney movies, all the puppies in the whole entire world, chocolate flavored coffee, chocolate flavored alcohol..etc.etc.etc.

                                                         (She's SOOOO CUUTTTEEE)

M: Married- I better be in 2 years...or someone will be in reallllllllly big trouble.

N: Nicknames - Ari Bugs (Brody) LaLa, Air Bears, Air...Ari Megs...

O: Overnight Hospital Stays- A few when I was younger. 

P: Pet Peeves- People who are in their 30's or 40's and act like they are 17, bad drivers (EVERYONE but me is a bad driver...just fyi...)

Q: Quote- "WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT DO I MEAN?!" Lacey Carruth

                                             (Ladies and Gentlemen....Lacey Carruth)

R: Righty or Lefty- Righty.

S: Siblings- Dawn my sista older, and soon to be brotha in law Chase...I have no idea how old that kid is...

                                                                (Aww...sistewly wuv)

T: Time You Wake Up-'s supposed to be like 7 am...but it's really more like 8 am ...

U: University- let's not go there....

V: Vegetable You Dislike- um beets? Pickles? Brussel Sprouts? Artichokes (although I do enjoy a good artichoke dip).

W: What Makes You Run Late: My hair....and the fact that I sleep in past my alarm waaaaay to often.

X: X-rays you've had- alot. Like more than I can count on both hands. 


Z: Zoo Animal- Elephants, and polar bears, and penguins, and lions, and ALL THE FLUFFIES!!!

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

I'M IN A STORE AND I'M SINGING....or screaming...either one

Has anyone had the issue of, wearing their hair up and after like 5 hours your head is screaming in pain. That is what's happening to me right now. I have one of those cute pinterest buns on my head right now and my scalp feels like it it ready to fall off my head. 
Today...well these past 2 weeks, have been EXCRUCIATING! Not really, but they have definitely taught me that I am not ready to pop babies out into this world yet. And this little girl is not a horrible child to work with. It's just that horrible time of a growth spurt and teething and the world falling apart. 
So today we went grocery shopping. I put her in the cart and about 5 minutes in she starts screaming. Not like cute "I'm having fun" screaming, like "Someone is putting my legs through a meat grinder and it hurts" screaming. I am frantically asking her what's wrong. I'm checking for owie-boos or something that might cause this bun in my head. Nothing. I ask her if she wants to get out of the cart and walk. She immediately stops crying and nods her head yes. Sweet. That is done and over with. I tell her as I take her out of the cart that she just had to ask. I set her down and she slowly lays down....oh no....and put her head back...oh Jesus help me....and begins to cry again. But like loud cries. Loud ear-ringing cries. Loud "everyone look at my poor helpless nanny"cries. So everyone is giving me dirty looks like I am pummeling the crap out of this child. So I just pick her up, grab the diaper bag and bee-line it out of the store. I calm her down in the car. I ask her if she's ready to help me in the grocery store she happily smiles and we head back in. A nice store associate left our cart at the customer service desk, so the two of us, now donning smiles, resume our grocery shopping. I let her walk instead of being in the cart, she begins screaming again after like 5 seconds...I offer her crackers, offer to hold her, offer to put her in the cart, check her diaper, check her temperature (notice they are having a special on Coors Light.....), nothing makes her happy, so we go back out to the car, leaving our items yet again, in the cart. She calms down after 5 minutes of singing The Wheels On The Bus, we head back in the store, everyone staring at us. We are two items away from checkout glory when....she dashes away from the cart heading the opposite direction. I run after her and catch her before she can wreak havoc upon innocent Harmons Customers. I tell her since she decided to run and not stay by Arielle she now has to sit in the cart. Screaming.....screaming......more screaming.....don't these small people have like a time limit on screaming sessions? Finally I give up. We head to the check out. The second she is buckled in her car seat, she is babbling away as happy as can be. What would you do? On one hand, you don't want to teach them that if they cry they'll get whatever they want, but on the other hand, you are annoying every one in the store. I was one of those people who would make nasty comments when I heard children crying while their parents tried to grocery shop. But now i have a new understanding. I can understand maybe leaving the kids behind with the sitter or the other parent and go shopping with out the kids.But I AM the sitter, I could go when she has nap time since her mom works from home, but I usually eat lunch and do the housecleaning at her nap time. Comments would so appreciated! 
Two days left before the weekend. Hopefully they go by a lot better and 3 weeks til our Valentine's Day Vacation YAAAAAAAY! So excited to get out of town for a while and RELAX! 

Monday, January 21, 2013

Move-Aways and Give-Aways

This winter weather is getting excruciating. Last night my mom, my sister and her fiancee, my nephew, Brody and I went to the Gateway Mall, which is an outdoor mall. We were walking from Applebees to the parking garage and it was only a 5 minute walk, but my hands swelled up, my feet started to swell and I started to have a hard time breathing. The more and more this Urticaria starts to show itself the more and more I start thinking that we have to move. We need to move. I can't be in pain like this when it gets below 30 degrees around here. I want to go to the grocery store without feeling like a balloon in the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade by the time I grab a cart and head in. I keep telling Brody that I'm serious about the move. I don't want to be away from our families. I would love for our kids to be close to their aunts and uncles and grandparents. I would love to stay here where our friends are. But I need to be healthy. I need to feel comfortable where I live. I have to put myself first sometimes and in this case, my health needs to come first. I think Brody and I haven't made a decision carved in stone yet because, we have no idea how to go about moving to a different state. Last time I moved to a new state, I was like 5. All I had to worry about was if my mom packed enough juiceboxes for the car ride. And our finances, UGH THE FINANCES! We still have so much to pay off, it would be dumb to move out of state with all our debt right? How do you look for a job out of state and how do you look at renting a place out of state and what about Taffy? She didn't do well driving from Brigham City to Centerville, which is about a 40 minute drive, how will she do with a ten hour drive and what do we do about her going potty? It's all too much for me to think about. And I could say to myself that we have time but I am a planner. I like to plan things so hard they are sore. Our lease is up the end of August, should we move then? Should we wait? Should I go through another winter being swollen and in pain? Can I go through another winter in pain? Should I HAVE to? 
The good thing out of all this craziness is...Brody got a new job. We are thrilled. THRILLED! He starts next week. I have a realllllllly good feeling about this job. And although we have a ton of questions that need to be answered, I think that this is the year that everything just comes together. I'm so happy for him too. He has worked SO hard, since the day I met him, and now it's finally starting to pay off. I am so proud of him. I can't think of anyone who is a better life partner than he is. He is a wonderful provider for our home, and he is my best friend. 

In other news....I am getting ready to put up my NYMB Facebook Fan Page! Just waiting for a time I can get pictures done, and have a day I can actually do it. And we have a week and a half for me to get 60 more followers on Twitter so someone can win that $40 visa giftcard! So if you haven't followed me yet...get to it! When the FB fan page opens up we'll have an awesome giveway too soooooo look out for that. 
In conclusion (heehee that sounds professional) if anyone can give me some advice about this whole moving thing PLEEEEAAAASSSSSEEE comment or message or tweet me. I would greatly appreciate it! 

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Don't Be A Jerk Yo.

Just so everyone knows...I get notified by text when someone comments on the blog. I do not have to moderate them because I welcome criticism. But when I get comments saying "You are seriously a horrible person, you are so racist and a bitch. You are a whore and you will go to hell." and "You're just a slut with a big mouth." and "You will rot in hell for what you said about Mormons, bitch." I will delete them. PS: I had to edit these comments because it took me like 5 minutes to figure out what the hell they were trying to say.
First of all. I am not against the LDS religion. I have dear dear friends who are LDS. I have gone to church with them and even attended a seminary class. I have educated myself about the religion a little bit. I don't claim to even know half of the history and beliefs but I know a little. Although I am not interested becoming a member of this religion doesn't mean I am against it. 
Secondly, I am not a whore. I do not have sex or perform sexual acts on individuals for monetary gain. I am also not a slut. I have been in a monogamous relationship for almost a year and a half and I have been faithful to this man the entire course of out relationship. 
Thirdly (is this a word? Spell check says it is...WIN!), yes I can be a bitch. Especially "that time of week" (ask Brody...he can tell you...) 
Fourthly (fourthly?) I am not racist. I have never spoke about any race in a derogatory way in the duration of this blog being on the internet. I have nothing against any race and in fact I was raised to not look at race as a factor of a persons character but in fact determining their character as how they treat others and themselves (Hey! Martin Luther King Jr Day is on Monday!!! YAY!) 
And lastly (because fifthly sounds dumb). I shouldn't even have to defend or justify myself to the likes of these human beings. They aren't worth my time. With that being said, it really hurt my feelings. I felt extremely hurt by these comments and yes, I shed a few wasted tears over it. I am still a person, I have feelings, and they get hurt. And this is how I deal with these hurt feelings. 
I sincerely hope I have not hurt anyone's feelings in my blog. I do not want to be mean to anyone. I am sarcastic, I am blunt and I do speak my mind. If you do not like it, you do not have to read it. No one is forcing my posts down your throat. This is a place where people should be able to speak their minds, have a laugh and feel like they can be themselves. But I won't apologize for speaking my mind. And now....this....

I Have Been To The Idiot's Base Camp, I Barely Survived.

Last night, Brody and I watched the little girl I nanny for, for 13 hours. Correction, I watched her for 13 hours Brody watched her for 5 hours and the other 3 hours she was in bed for the night. She is really a great little girl. Even when she's at her worst, she's better than most 20 month old children. But at about 5pm we realized, we are not ready to have children. For like 3-4 years. Sorry someday future grandparents. But we were like hanging by a thread. We were eagerly counting down the minutes to bedtime. We were exhausted by 6:30 and the little person was running in circles screaming "E-I-E-I-O!!!!" We sat on the couch and wondered, "how the hell does such a tiny person have so much energy." And I figured out that someone one day was babysitting a child such as this and said "I need that kind of energy." And went home and invented crack. We were home by 11:30 and I was asleep before 12 am. When we got home, I told Taffy, who was extremely affectionate, that she would be the only baby (our fur-baby, as we call her.) for the next few years. I'm sure next week I'll see a newborn baby and I'll become baby hungry and tell Brody he has like 5 months to get a ring on my finger so we can open up the baby making factory. And then I'll come home from work with paint, boogers and stickers all over me and that will change again. 
Today I ventured out in the world to go to Walmart. Ironically enough to go pick up my birth control pills! A lot of you are saying "JESUS! You're attempting Walmart on a Saturday afternoon? Are you crazy?!" No, I'm not crazy...I just have really really bad time management skills. My first task was to find a parking spot, I was in no hurry to get out of my warm car and walk in the freezing cold (which is really getting ridiculous now...seriously if it doesn't warm up soon....something will idea what...) so I had no plans of finding a parking space further than 5 spots away from a door. As I am slowly driving down a lane to find a spot this lady starts walking towards my car with a huge cart full of stuff. I slow down to a stop and she keeps walking DOWN THE MIDDLE OF THE FREAKIN LANE. I wanted to stick my head out the window and say "MOVE TO THE SIDE JACKASS" but it was too cold. So I watched in to my car....with her cart. I honked my horn super loud to scare the shit out of her. She laughed and said "TEEHEE Oh I am so sorry hun. I can't find my car TEEHEE!" I was realllllly tempted to put Mr.Moneybuckets into reverse and have one less moron living on the planet. But then I decided I couldn't handle a felony on top of all the other stuff I have going on. So I finally found a spot after like 10 minutes of people trying to back out of spots and not looking where they are going and tiny children running out in front of my car because their parents are probably more interested in cleaning their firearms and "gettin beer fer tanights hoe down" than being actual responsible parents. I finally get to the pharmacy to pick up the one perscription I need and they are out at lunch for another 15 minutes. I sit down on one of the benches with like 3 other people. Two of them are probably old enough to remember when Roosevelt was elected (Theodore, not Franklin...) and the other chick has crazy eyebrows and super dark lip liner and eying out the competition of who will get in line first when the pharmacy opens up. Seriously lady 1) I'm pretty sure you don't have to worry about the cast of the Colonial Penn commercials beating you to the front of the line. 2.) I sure as hell have nothing better to do....and I don't like running. I am minding my own business when the lady from the Golden Girls says "you must have gone on a mission." She is obviously talking to me because pen-brow chick looks like she has NEVER seen the inside of a church, so unless she was talking about the sex position......she was most likely talking about me. I say "I'm sorry, what?" She repeats her self and adds "You are wearing a bun in your hair, all the girls I know who have went on a mission wore buns." oooookkkaaaaayyyyy......uh...."Oh I have never been on a mission before." (Except for an exceptional tasting vodka that I can drink straight...) "Well you must be going on one soon then." She smiles sweetly at me. I really wanted to say "I am not LDS and if I asked to go on an LDS mission the temples might burst into flames. I am currently living in sin (alot. of. sin.) with my boyfriend and I spend more time looking up alcoholic drink recipes on Pinterest than reading scriptures." But instead I said, "No, no plans for a mission." "Do you do relief society?" "No.....don't do that either..." "That bun in your hair just looks so nice..." What the hell does having a bun in your hair have to do with being a member of the LDS church? I have many LDS friends and I don't remember any important bun talk! Finally I let Edith (I named her Edith in my's an old persons name..) down as easily as I could, "I'm not LDS. I'm sorry. I have many friends who are and I love them very much and have no disrespect for the religion. I am just not a member." I could tell she was about to refer me to a missionary or something and quickly added "AndI'mnotplanningonbeingldsanytimesoon." All of a sudden Agatha (another old person name) went from the sweetly grandmotherly figure of the group to the really scary old 5th grade teacher everyone avoided and no one knew why she was a teacher if she loathed children so much. By this time the pharmacy had opened so I waited behind the Mistress of the Night who had made a mad dash for the line as soon as she saw it opening. I thought for a second that maybe they were giving away free nipple piercings for the first 3 people in line and that's why she was so excited. But alas, no one offered me a piercing of any kind. Maybe she was there for the same reason and just wanted to pick up her no baby making pills so she could get it on with Marilyn Manson (remember sweetie: you need 5 to 7 days of back up protection!). I texted Brody and asked him if he needed anything at the store but just left because if I had to see one more act of stupidity or one more person who was not gifted with Common Sense, I might have shanked someone with my car keys, and I already told myself that my plate is already full, I don't need a felony charge on top  of it. 
When I finally arrived at my building, someone was moving in. When I got off on my floor they had a bunch of their shit blocking the elevator so I couldn't get out. I swear to God that blockhead-cart-lady's twin was moving in, "TEEHEE I am SO sorry!." I was so done with stupid people at this point that I just knocked over a frame and stepped over it and sweetly said "TEEHEE welcome to the building, next time don't block the super moving box thing OTAY?!" I am now hiding in my stupid-free apartment and this is where I will stay. And a thought has just came into my mind, "Am I frustrated because there is stupid people? Or am I frustrated because I need to get laid....." Interesting...

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Why Utah Is Literally Killing Me and Why I LOVE YOUUUUU!

So I'm not sure if I talked about this in an earlier post, and I'm too lazy to check, but I am literally allergic to the cold. Like not even kidding. Fo'realsyo. It's called Cold Urticaria. When I was 19 I woke up one morning in my dorm room and I had red bumps EVERYWHERE. it freaked me out. I called my mom bawling and she had no idea what to do. Every day I'd wake up with these bumps and they burned and itched. I wore scarfs and long sleeves so no one could see them. I thought I had a flesh eating disease. We went to an allergist and he did an allergy test. I broke out everywhere, I was allergic to grass, trees, horses, basically any animal, denim, cotton, nickle, copper, things I was never allergic to before now sent me into a huge allergy attack. It was insane. That summer I broke out in hives everyday. Any kind of sunscreen I put on would make me break out more. So I returned to the doctor and he said "you basically have a mild allergy to the sun."
"But I'm also allergic to sunscreen." 
"Sooooooo what do I do?" 
"Honestly, i have no idea. I have never seen this before." 
"I'm basically a 20/20 special?" 
My mom had a brilliant idea to try a sunscreen with like something crazy special in it and it worked. So that solved that problem. Later we found out that I also had an intolerance to progesterone. A hormone THAT IS IN MY BODY. I AM NOW ALLERGIC TO MY OWN FRIGGIN BODY!!!! My doctor said that I could never have my period and stay on birth control oooorrr just pop out babies til kingdom come. 
It's been a few years and I can now have a period without puking up stomach acid and having hives in my throat (ask anybody about our trip to Disneyland...the ride on the way there was HORRIBLE). I can wear jeans without my legs itching. And as long as I take my daily allergy pill in the morning I can pet all the horsies and kitties and puppies I want. But I still have the whole freaky sun allergy. So this week, I go to my doctor's office to pick up my savings card for my birth control. My feet are swollen and I am limping like Quasimodo.  
"What's wrong with your legs?" asks my Doctor. 
"Oh, they're cold, they swell up when they're cold." 
"Doesn't everybody swell up when they are cold?" 
"NO! What is wrong with you?" 
"You're the doctor, you should have the answer to that." 
I told her that when I get cold I swell up, or when I eat something cold my tongue gets itchy and swells up or when me feet and hands get cold they get itchy and swell up. She leaves and comes back a minute later with an ice cube and has me roll up my sleeve. She holds the ice to my upper arm and says 
"In about 30 seconds to a minute we sho....." 
"Wow, that took like 5 seconds!" 
"What?" My arm now itches terribly and now it is swollen. She leaves again and comes back with another doctor. 
"Wow. This is interesting. I haven't seen this in person before." 
"Yes, I am a freak of nature, it's wonderful. Listen, I just want to get my magic card that makes my birth control" 
"You have Cold Urticaria." "I'm sure I do. I also have a thing where my ligaments don't function properly so my eyeballs could fall out any minute and my heart could snap in half, if I try really hard I could probably show you." 
Doctors don't get sarcasm. 
So they both go on to explain that I am allergic to the cold. 
"I live in a place that is cold. And let me remind you that I am also allergic to the sun's heat." "Yes." 
"So I'm just supposed to live where it's between 50 and 70 degrees all the time.?" 
"Or you can switch to gluten free, cut out pastas and bread and other wheat foods." Silence...silence..."So I'm supposed to live where it's 50 and 70 degrees all the time?" 
"Or become gluten free." 
Silence...silence..."Where the hell on this planet is it between 50 and 70 degrees all the time?" "Why can't you just maintain a gluten free diet?" 
"I'm pretty sure that half my body is not made up of's made up of noodles. Completely out of the question." 
So that night I went home and googled "US cities with Mild Weather and has a Chilis restaurant and good grocery stores with a Helicopter Pilot school within 30 miles and a good housing market". Google laughed at me. What a whore google. 
The closest thing to my search was Eastern Washington. Western Washington is too cold. That seems fine to me. It not totally far away from Utah, It's like 6 hours from the ocean. There's a helicopter school close by and the housing market is decent. I have no idea if there is a Chili's or how great the grocery stores are. But there is one really important question that has to be answered before we make a huge step and move out of state: Do they sell liquor in the grocery stores? Because if I can't live in Utah, I want to at least move somewhere with better liquor laws...meaning looser liquor laws. 
Now don't freak out (I mean you mom and mom in law to be (hopefully soon...)). Brody and I talked about it for like 10 seconds and it's not even a serious thing we are thinking about. But it really does suck to have my tongue swell up and become nauseous because the walk from the parking lot to the grocery store is freezing cold. I'd rather move than have to experience swollen hands every time I drive between the months of November and March, because the steering wheel is too cold. Just saying....
Moving on from my abnormalities. I have had an exhausting week. I get home from work so tired, muster up some motivation to make dinner, even though Monday we had pizza and last night we made microwaved dinners, and try to unwind from the day before I go to bed. We've been stressed about money (no surprise there), and we've just been in a rut lately. Tonight was one of those nights. So as I sat down to watch Grey's Anatomy I turned on my computer to finish this post. And I had a bunch of emails and messages and comments from all you beautiful people. I got choked up. I started blogging because I was bored and I needed to vent about things, I didn't have to much to say and didn't think anyone would listen. But people started to listen, and I realized I had a lot of power. I could use it to inform people, or just to make people laugh. That was a gift I was given at a young age. I could make people laugh. And maybe there is a person out there who reads these and says "oh my hell I can totally relate to that." And they know that they are not the only ones who can't cook or make coasters out of wine corks or are trying to figure out how to stretch a paycheck. You guys have made it all worth it. The hours of figuring out what the hell I am going to write about today because I live a pretty boring life. The days spent emailing and going to businesses about sponsoring my blog. You. Make. It. Worth. It. One day I hope my writing is on a larger scale. And I will not forget who put me there. You guys did. I'm not a famous blogger nor am I considered a professional or popular blogger. But I do feel that I have the best readers and I do feel that I am the luckiest. I hope you have days when you are feeling down and you read my blog and it makes you smile. That's why it is here. Not only to share Mine and Brody's life with people who we don't see very much, but also to brighten your day. Thank you for the love and the support of this blog. I can't even tell you how much love I feel for all of you. Thank you. 
On a lighter note, my cat just jumped on the couch and it scared the shit out of me and I screamed like a 3 yr old girl who just watched The Brave Little Toaster for the first time (DO NOT tell me that movie wasn't scarey as shit.). Not only did I wake up Brody, but my neighbors came to check on me....Nice to know they care!

Monday, January 14, 2013

One Time I Was 13....It Was The WORST.

My too cute for her own good friend, Kristen, did a cool blog post called What Were You Doing. I have been thinking about doing something like this for awhile but no time like the present time right? Ok, here we go.

What were you doing 10 years ago? 
Ugh kill me. I just turned 13. I was the lanky tall girl with the braces, the glasses and although didn't have boobs (hey....I still haven't gotten those yet...WHAT THE HELL?), or my period, acne decided to show up on my face. I was super quiet and shy and awkward. I spent most of my days in school trying to plan a getaway. 
I was used to pants too short and being asked "Where's the flood?" and if you were one of those people, yes, you made me cry, I hope you got fat and you're on your first divorce.
I wanted to go to Law School and be a lawyer. I did not want to get married or have kids. 
I tried to be as invisible as possible, and I did not know the beauty of sarcasm yet...that would come in about a year or so.

Ok...awkward picture sister looks gorgeous. I look sickly, and my hair is hilarious. I wanted to look like Reese Witherspoon in Sweet Home Alabama. 
My poor skinny little arms. They never stood a chance.

What were you doing 5 years ago?
I had just turned 18. I am almost done with high school. I found that sarcasm was the best defense and found some truly amazing friends, whom I am still friends with today and always will be. I found confidence through debate and really didn't care too much about boys. I still didn't want to get married or have kids. I wanted to live in Disneyland and be a princess. You think I'm kidding. The only man I had loved or trusted at that point was my beautiful blue Ford Explorer named Optimus Indiana Jones Prime. I had lost the braces and glasses a few years back and kiiinda knew how to do my hair and makeup at this point. I had lost my childhood friend my dog Ebony a year before and was devastated. My mom and I had a crazy idea to adopt a kitty cat and we got the one who was on methamphetamine, just kidding. Not really. by this time 5 years ago, she would have ventured out from under the couch a few times. NOW SOME PICTURES FROM PROM!!!

That's Optimus in the background! I cried when he got hit by SOME IDIOT SCRATCHING HER EYE AND RAN A RED LIGHT!!!

 Back story of prom: my best friend made her boyfriend ask me out because no one else would. Yeah. I was suuuuper popular with the boys.

My new addition to my family!

What were you doing 2 years ago?

I had just turned 21. I'm probably in Wendover at the Styx concert and getting SMASHED! Just kidding. I am about 6 months away from meeting a man who will change my thought on having babies and spending the rest of my life with one person. But now I go on ALOT of first dates...not too many second dates. I have made a ton of mistakes by this time but do not regret a single one of them. I am still a work in progress after a pretty bad battle with some serious self esteem issues. See the girl in the pretty purple dress above? In a few months she will vomit every time she sees her face in a mirror. She will hide it from roomates and from family and friends. She will learn to do her makeup without using a mirror. She'll pull out chunks of her hair and her eyelashes. One day a few days after she turns 19 her and her girlfriends will want to go see Princess and the Frog. She'll have a meltdown in the bathroom trying to put on makeup, she'll look in the mirror for the first time in 3 months and it will make her puke. Because she can't stand to see her face. She'll put on a really good show at the movies until a friend wants a picture. This will be the first time her friends will get a clue as to the pain she had been feeling for months. Her best friends mom, who has been a second mom to her, will give her a book called The Secret. It will be the best thing that will ever happen to her. She'll spend nights in the bathroom and in front of the mirror crying, forcing herself to say "I'm beautiful." "I'm worth someones love." Sometimes she'll even scream it. By the time she's 21 she will still have many of her old friends, and she'll make new ones that will have a profound effect on her life. 21 is a hell of a lot better than 13, 18 or 19. And I discovered pudding shots this year too. That was a life changer. And I learned to not give a flying fuck as to what people think. I will also be working on learning to say "no". Particularly to my bosses.

 These goggles smelt like bacon....just so you know
This is before I had 7 Long Island Iced Teas and 2 kamikazes.....oh 21. 

What are you doing TODAY?
I am in my apartment with the love of my life and my best friend...Taffy. Oh and Brody is here too. JUST KIDDING! I love that man more than anything. He has taught me to love myself and to love and trust others. I cut back on the drinking (you know what's NOT attractive? Puking in bushes in front of a church and not having any clue where your car keys or your shoes are....) Right now I just finished a dinner Brody and I made together (my favorite thing that we do together...well....second...heheheheh) And listening to Brody laugh at an episode of South Park (the night I met him I heard his laugh before I saw him and I melted like butter...super cheesy yeah?) I am working towards my real estate license and LOVE all the amazing things we have coming our way. 

Where will you be 2 years from now?
SOMEONE SHOULD have gotten SOMEBODY an ENGAGEMENT RING by then. At least an engagement ring. Hopefully we know where we will be permanently since Brody will be done with school. Maybe my last name has changes and we're starting to have babies? I hope so. Taffy will still be a really grumpy cat I'm sure. And I am making money by blogging in my pj's. YAAAAAYYY!!! 

Mind Your Own Business...Unless You're Giving Me Money, Then Feel Free To Mind Mine...

So the last few weeks Brody and I have been talking ALOT about our future, especially school. I have had a crazy opportunity to have a career in real estate. Once I brought this to attention I had alot of people react negatively towards the idea. Some of the things they had to say were:
  • You change what you want to do all the time: Yes I do, and I can. Why Because I'm 23 for Christs sakes. I'm allowed to change my mind. That is the beauty of being in your twenties. You learn who you are and what kind of person you want to become. I could change my mind tomorrow and guess what? It's none of your business or concern. I do what I need to do, you do what you need to do. If you don't like it or understand it that's fine, but if you won't support it, then there's no sense of being in my life. I surround myself with people who are positive and love and support me, if you do not do any of those things don't waste my time or your time. 
  • Real Estate is risky, you might not have a job in a few years: Uh....every job comes with a risk. You don't know if your job will be there tomorrow either. And one thing I have learned from people in Real Estate, the housing market doesn't define how much money you make, YOU do. Yes, some people do fall really hard in this field, do you wanna know why? Because they didn't protect themselves. Let's say someone was making $12,000 a month (that's just a loose estimate). Their living expenses is $5,000 a month. If they were stupid and spent the other $7,000 on toys and racking up credit cards and buying brand new vehicles and buying a house they can barely afford the mortgage payment, they are going to hit the pavement hard if they loose their income. If they were smart they would have bought the "not as nice" car with cash, that can save you $200 a month in car payments so when something on the older car breaks you're not putting repair costs on the credit card. If they bought the house that was under their max budget, put down a large down payment and went with a 15-20 yr fixed mortgage instead of the 30 yr, they would pay their home off quicker, and they wouldn't be paying a shitload of interest. So let's say if they did that, their living expenses became $4000 a month, if they spend $4000 for their living expenses and have $1000 for entertainment and put that extra $7000 into savings, if their income took a hit, they wouldn't be having the brand new car repoed and foreclosing on the home they could never afford. It's not about how much you make, it's about living within or below your means and setting up a safety net. Brody and I have big plans for our finances. And again, worry about yourself.

So the original plan for us was: Me to get my license quit nannying and start working, then we would send Brody to school in August. After that I would probably go back and study business. 

A few weeks ago I was presented with the possibility to start school sooner. The only issue was money. I needed a grant and a scholarship to cover at least 60-70% of tuition. Last night my mom and I, over the phone, filled out my FAFSA online. Because I am 23, the government still sees me as a dependent (which is the dumbest thing I have ever heard, if I'm allowed to vote for leaders of my country or go to war at 18, I don't think I should be considered an independent...just my opinion.) Because my mom was married last year we had to use her husbands taxes as well. Well, I wouldn't get diddly squat. I was pretty upset. My mom said she totally understand that I'm ready to get my life started and whatever is meant to be will  happen. After we hung up, I was still feeling pretty down about it. Brody basically said the same thing and said next year I won't be a dependent. We can see where we are going to be after he is done with school and then I can go back to college. Right now I will just work on getting my license and keep nannying. Which is fine with me. I love my job and when I think about eventually not doing it anymore it makes me really sad. Brody just reminded me to take it one day at a time. 

And now....a meme:

Sunday, January 13, 2013

I Pay My Escorts in Gift Cards and Grocery Shopping Makes Me Want to Commit Felonies

On Friday night, Brody and I enjoyed a date night out to Applebees. I had gotten a gift card for my birthday AND got paid today so it was my treat. Brody always feels horrible when he can't pay. But seriously, the guy has paid for EVERYTHING for the first 12 months of our relationship. HE would never EVER let me pay or pay half. I would spend hours asking if I could PLLEEEEAAASEEE pay for half of a date and he would never let me. So I like it when I can pay. I'm also mean so I like to make it funny. 

At the dinner we were talking about celebrities and their Twitter accounts. Brody said he thinks most of them just have people that take care of tweeting for them. I said, "I wish I could pay someone to take care of my Twit....ter..." *Cue uncomfortable gasp from table behind us.* "Oh wait," I add, "That's you." *Cue another gasp.*

The rest of the night I referred to him as an escort. When the waiter brought us our check I made another prostitution reference loud enough for lots of people to hear. The people behind us are now so uncomfortable, they have stopped talking. As we walk out I make like 5 more references. Brody is now practically running out of the restaurant. As we get in the car I yell (just loud enough so it echos throughout the parking lot) "YOU ARE THE WORST PROSTITUTE EVER! I WANT A REFUND!" Brody asks me, exasperated by my shenanigans, if I have to yell that really loud. Why yes, yes I do.

Last night after a yummy meal at Brody's parents house, we made our way to WalMart. We went at like 9pm so we figured it wouldn't be super busy. Yeah. We were wrong. I begged Brody to come with me and I was starting to regret it. Sometimes Brody acts like he is 5 years old (I never NEVER ever act immature....ever.) We were in the frozen food section and he was giving me crap about choosing frozen lunches for work. There was a very pretty couple in the same aisle as us, and they were happily gabbing about how awesome it was to join their Bishop for Family Home Evening (all I know is that's what LDS people do.) At the same exact moment as they were basking in the joy of Jesus' love and yada yada yada I yell "CHOOSE A LUNCH OR I WILL BITCH SLAP YOU IN FRONT OF THIS LOVELY COUPLE!!!" Brody said "Try me." In a really sarcastic tone. I didn't want to hurt his beautiful face so I just playfully punched him in the arm, he turned to the couple and in an even more sarcastic tone said "SHE STRUCK ME!" I feel bad for people that have to be around us. Because they know they'll never have an awesome relationship like we do.

We got in line to check out, we got behind a couple who was seriously stocking up for the apocalypse, WHO NEEDS 15 CONTAINERS OF KETCHUP??? WHO??? They had like 30 things of each product. Then, they had so much shit (I gave up cleaning up my language for this post) that the register went into override. So the cashier had to wait for a manager to come over. BTW...why does WalMart have 90 registers but only have 3 open? And 2 out of 3 are the speedy checkout lanes and I have more than 20 items. So after the manager finally decides to show up to work, there's like 5 more people behind us. The cashier thinks this is a great time to ask the couple if they want to open a store credit card. The couple doesn't understand alot of English. The cashier thinks this means he needs to yell louder than usual. "I NEED TO SEE A DRIVER'S LICENSE DO YOU HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE?" We spent more time waiting in line than actually grocery shopping.

I wish I had the money to go shop at Harmons. 

Friday, January 11, 2013

Who The Hell Has Time To Make Coasters?

You know what I want to know? How do these pretty little m-effer blog ladies do everything? They always look super cute, their house is always extremely clean and there's like new decor every week. How is that possible? And some of these people are  mothers. TO TODDLERS AND INFANTS! How do you have time for these things???? And you know most likely their husbands work so that super cute outfit photo shoot they had in that field by the train tracks, they had to spend like 5 hours setting up the tripod for that crap. Probably while they're kids are sitting in the car with a baggie of goldfish and watching a movie on their Iphone. 

I don't have children and I don't even have time to make all the crafty stuff they make.Well I probably do but....sleep is better. And I'm really good at it. Making a coffee table out of barn doors and wooden pallets...not so much. I just want to know how you had time to shower, dress in like 30 layers of clothes and jewelry, expertly apply makeup, do your hair in perfect tousled curls with uber volume, do a photo shoot with yourself, and make a sock wreath...when you have like 3 kids under the age of 3? Is someone watching them while you glue gun the shiz-nit out of coasters made from wine corks....and when do you have time do drink enough wine to have enough corks to make coasters? Or are your children like cats and sleep 15 hours a day?

I don't despise these women, in fact I gots nothing but respect for them. If you can do all that and bring an income into your home (maybe through your blog, maybe not) you deserve props yo.  I am kinda jealous. I would love to do all that for a living, and maybe one day I will. 

Last night Utah got hit hard by a snow storm. My boss is kinda awesome and amazing and sent me home at like 3 so I wouldn't have to drive from South Salt Lake to Centerville. My drive was actually not too bad until I hit Woods Cross and the snow was starting to stick to the roads. Brody on the other hand, didn't get off til 5. By then the roads were horrible. I spent the whole time watching for him out our living room window. I get worried really easily. So to get my mind off of everything that could go wrong, I decided to start taking down Christmas. Yes, I do know what day it is. No, I don't care. I got the Christmas tree packed, but the box is still right by the couch....and the kitchen decorations taken down....they are sitting on the counter. I'll probably have everything cleaned up by February. It usually takes him 20 to 30 minutes to get home but last night it took him an hour and a half. I was seriously freaking out. I was so happy when he walked in the door. I felt incredibly blessed to be able to be inside our warm home safe and together. 

Speaking of the love of my life, remember the other night I spoke about us trying to be more romantic? Yeah....scratch that. The other night I realized our relationship isn't champagne and roses. And that's fine. I love our hilarious relationship. I would rather watch 3 hours of funny cat videos together than going to some fancy restaurant with food we can't pronounce. We are more beer and steak than caviar and champagne. We still do romantic stuff for each other. There's lots of love notes, cute surprises and we are that annoying couple in the grocery store holding hands. Well...the last time we were in WalMart we made a guy bust up laughing because Brody was giving me shit about something and I said "If I did the things I'm thinking about doing to you right now, I would go jail." and then Brody started mocking me like a 5 year old. That's how we roll. And I love it. Honestly, I wouldn't change a thing about our relationship. No one has made me laugh as hard, love as much and let me be myself like he has. I think to myself that it impossible to love him anymore than I do but then he does something that makes me love him more. 

That's enough of the mushiness. Bleh.  

In other news. Tomorrow I have a meeting with a College to see about maybe going back to school. I had one financial adviser tell me I have to be considered a "dependent" and use my mom's tax info. I had a person from FAFSA saying I didn't have to. So we'll see how that goes. Both people say I have a really good shot at getting a Pell Grant, which would be nice. So it just depends how much grants and scholarships I can get. If I can get like 80% covered than I  may start month. EEEEEE! So excited. PS: Government Financial aid can suck the dirtiest part of my toe (I wanted to say something else, but I'm supposed to try and cleaning up my language...can I say ball sack...SHIT...I mean DANGIT!). I don't live with my mom, she doesn't pay any of my bills, so why should I be a dependent? I think it's bogus that they assume that she's going to contribute money to my school. The whole federal financial aid thing is a joke. 

Anyways, I'm hoping weather isn't going to be a bitch tonight so we can go to Applebees...we have no food in the house...and I don't want to go to Walmart. 

PS: Twitter update!!!! We upped the amount of the giftcard to $40. So if I reach 100 followers by Jan.31 a lucky follower will win!
PPS: I'm too lazy to edit if you find an error...suck it.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Super Good Girl Talks and I SUCK At Romance

Last night I watched the season premiere of The Biggest Loser. It was soooo inspiring! I became inspired to get in shape (I may weigh like 10 lbs but believe me...none of it is muscle....and I wheeze when I walk up stairs.) and become a healthier person (aka no more vodka and m&ms for breakfast). I said to Brody "I'm going to go to the gym and work out and start eating healthier!" And then my brain laughed and said "*SNORT* No you're not." And she was right so I finished my popcorn and beer and changed the channel to the Food Network and watched Paula Deen put 8 sticks of butter into a pot of Mashed Potatoes. 

Over the course of the last 2 months or so, Brody and I talked a lot about our future and what plans we have (which life looks at and laughs most of the time...but they're nice to have). What I realized is that I reallllllllllllly realllllllllllly want to make this blog work. And that takes time. I spend anywhere from an hour to 8 hours a day on this blog. I work on trying to find sponsors, I work on branding it, I work on social networking for the blog and of course writing it. It has become a second job, which it doesn't feel like work because I love it. But I needed to cut out some things from my life.

I started doing Slumber Parties in July, then I taken a break from blogging and was really excited about being a part of this awesome company. It was a fantastic way to make money and meet really awesome people. I love this company and love what it stands for. I love that it empowers women to take charge of their sexuality and teaches them how to have healthy sex lives. The consultants are incredible and the products are really high quality. I went full steam ahead for a few months and then started to slow down once I picked the blogging back up. A few weeks ago I realized that I no longer have time for SP anymore. And today I made the announcement.

I'm sad but feel more relieved. I feel like this is the right thing for me right now. And my amazing SP sponsor Jamie, who is THEE best, pointed out to me that if I ever want to pick it back up in the future, I can. 

Speaking of Jamie, I seriously had the best girl chat today than I have had in MONTHS! I don't know why I cut so much back on my girl time. It was so nice to be able to let loose, and talk about things that if some of my more conservative friends heard...they would gasp. HAHA! Nothing like dirty girl talk to make a gal's day (not THAT kind of dirty talk ya nastays). The only thing missing was a glass of wine. But it was like 11:30 in the morning. Which normally won't stop me but yeah I didn't want her kids to come home from school and meet me the first time and I'm a sloshed hot mess. 

Totally off topic...but I got teal colored pants. I'm kind of excited about it. And I'm wearing them right now. 

Speaking of wearing pants. I know I said I wasn't going to put any on or a bra yesterday but Brody and I remembered that we had a gift card to the movies and so I made myself look like a normal human being and we saw This Is 40. And It Is Hilarious. It was nice to actually get out of the house and do something. All weekend we just stayed inside and watched tv and played around on the computer (and did something else...but I don't kiss (ahem) and tell....). I started thinking about since we moved in together we stopped dating. A very very wise person once said "If he hasn't put a ring on your finger, he still needs to pursue you, and you need to pursue him because he hasn't put a ring on your finger". Beyonce's Single Ladies totally just popped into my head. NOW ITS IN YOUR HEAD!!! Have fun singing that for the next 6 hours!!! Anyways, I think that is totally true. And even after the ring is on your finger it doesn't mean romance just chucks itself off a 12 story building and smashes violently into the concrete spraying blood and guts over innocent bystanders and hot dog carts. I really want a hot dog now. So I think that we should try at least 1 or 2 Saturdays a month we leave off everything and just focus on us. But then I started thinking..."what do we do?" I don't think I can just stare at him all day. Although he is pretty friggin sexy I would get bored. Next week we are going to Applebees (why? Because we have a gift card and I get paid....) and then...I am going to try to do something romantic. So suggestions would be appreciated (nothing to expensive, I'm not made of money...or cheesy...I hate cheesy). Comment here about cute, romantic and inexpensive things you do to be romantic to your love muffin (PS if it's cheesy I WILL tell you) OR tweet me at itsme_arielleb. Stay classy San Diego! 

Sunday, January 6, 2013

How Does My Boyfriend Put Up With Me?

Last night I discovered my Pinocchio dvd is missing. I have never been so distraught in my life. Not really. But I was pretty sad. My poor Pinocchio dvd is out there somewhere probably scared and missing me. The only way Brody could console me was to start talking to me about Disneyland. Which helped for a second, but then I started missing Disneyland. I haven't gone in like 4 years! That's a long time considering between the ages of 14 and 19 I went like 3 or 4 times a year. I even had an annual passport because I went so often, it was my 18th birthday present. Best. Birthday. Ever. I told Brody about the time my mom just dropped Lacey, my best friend of 6 years, and I at the gate and said she might be back to pick us up if there was enough Valium in the world to calm her shot nerves. 

Lacey and I in Disneyland is kinda hard to explain. But this is the best way: imagine a 4 year old in Disneyland. Now imagine that 4 year old took a shitload of speed and then went to Disneyland. That's Lacey and I in Disneyland.

                                                      I can't tell you...I just have to show you...

One time we were just waiting for Fantasmic to start and we turned around and noticed like 5 people had their video cameras out recording's that sad...and magical at the same time!

One day Brody and I will go to Disneyland together...and hopefully we will leave together. Because last night I almost put him in a anxiety attack (you know the kind of attacks parents have after their 5 yr old consumes an entire box of Krispie Kremes and the sugar starts setting in?) and I was just talking about Disneyland. The excitement is like a billion times more heightened when I'm actually there. 

Onto other news, yesterday I spent like 80% of my time doing stupid menu planning. Does anyone actually enjoy menu planning? Because I would like to know why. My brain felt like mush afterwards. But I managed to plan out 21 dinners, 15 lunches and 8 breakfasts. Now if any those things actually made is another story. Last night Brody and I made a delicious vegetable chowder. Which you can find the recipe here: 

We were pretty impressed with ourselves, and it turned out really tasty even when Brody tried to add a leeeeeettle more flour he dumped like 1/3 of the bag of flour into the pot and because he didn't mix the flour with water first the flour lumped up and we tried getting all the lumps out. And we didn't have enough milk. But still...SUCCESS!

Today I shall celebrate my time with my beloved Pinocchio dvd by spending the day watching Disney movies. I shall not put on pants or a bra or makeup because it's the weekend bitches and I don't have to.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

What the Hey, Bobby Flay?

I'm enjoying my coffee this morning and I notice something slightly disturbing...I'm sweating...while I'm eating. I feel like Newman from Seinfeld, which does not make a girl feel pretty, even though she has bedhead and no makeup on to begin with. I begin thinking that I am either: a.) going through early menopause, missed my chance of having babies and will die alone as a result of my effed up hormones or b.) somehow gained 500 lbs. overnight and I am the only one who can't see it and now sweat when I eat. I then realize that I am drinking hot coffee, and wearing a hoodie, sweatpants and slippers. 

I shouldn't call it coffee. I should call it: Hot Chocolate with Vanilla, Cinnamon with Enough Coffee so it has a Slight Coffee Taste and Wakes Me Up. If I ever sell the idea to Starbucks, I think they would find a better name for it.

While eating my breakfast of champions, I am watching the Food Network. Which has been on a lot in my house. Usually everyday for at least an hour I flip between HGTV (LOVE Property Brothers, and Love It or List It..I feel so bad for Hillary if someone "lists it", she just busted her ass finishing your basement for you and you're just going to sell it now, pricks!) and either the Cooking Channel or the Food Network. If nothing interesting is on either of those channels, I feel a little lost.

And I actually want to try some of the recipes on these shows. I used to be like "uh there's more than three ingredients and it requires more than 1 pan and actual concentration, never going to happen." But since my mother bestowed upon me the all powerful slow cooker (and we now have a REAL knife set!!), and Brody said I am a "good cook" (his words, not mine) I am willing to try any recipe. Except if it has mustard or pickles in it, then GTFO of my kitchen ya nastay. Unfortunately this new outlook has taken on a life of its own. I frantically try to find scrapes of paper and writing utensils to write down recipes (the other day Giada was making an Italian Breakfast Sausage Bake and I couldn't find a pen, I was really tempted to take the kitchen scissors and cut off my finger and just write the recipe in blood). Thank God someone invented Pinterest and I can just Google the recipe (thank you baby Jesus for Google too) and Pin It to my cute little food board. I also have begun watching these shows like I am watching a sporting event. I get really mad when there's an ingredient we don't have at home or I can never find in my local grocery store. 



My cat won't come near me when she sees me turn on the TV. By the way, Arugula is a type of lettuce. It's more spicy so it is nice in a salad and goes great in a vinaigrette. I wouldn't know though, the only time I found it in a store, it was super expensive (in my world, it costs more than $2). 

But seriously, I have been cooking more this week, than I have in like, the last 6 months. And the realllllly scarey thing is...I've been enjoying it. Cue Minion:

 Or MinionS. Because this is my blog, and I said so. That last one has nothing to do with this post, I just thought it was hilarious...and true.

I also decided to be one of those crazy people who do menu planning. Refer to middle picture again. I have yet to try it but I have my doubts. How do I know what I want to eat on the 5th of next month when it's not the 5th of next month? Usually I get home from work, go on Pinterest, find a recipe that has ingredients that I currently have in my house and looks delicious and make that. But I heard it saves you bundles o' money so I figured I would give it a try. Oh and we are only going to go to grocery shopping once a month. Apparently preparing to go grocery shopping once a month, is like training for a marathon. It takes weeks to prepare for and the day of shopping takes like 5 hours to complete. But again, it supposedly save tons o' money. I'm already a champion of price matching and coupons so that's not new. Brody used to think it took too long and was a pain. But when we went 2 weeks ago we got about 3 weeks of food and the total before price matching was about $120. After price matching: $88. BAM! How do you like dem apples! I actually get a thrill out of price matching and clipping coupons. I feel like I'm sticking it to the man. 

Because of my new addiction to the Food Network, I will be trying a new recipe every month and posting it on my bloggy blog. So make sure you tune in to see if I succeed. 

I am also having my first Giveaway! I need 100 followers on Twitter by Jan.31st. If I get to 100 followers by then I will randomly select a lucky winner to win a $20 Visa Giftcard!!! YAAAAAAY! So make sure you follow me @itsme_arielleb! Good luck my cute lil' readers and have a fantastical Saturday!!!

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

I'm Sorry I Did This To You.

I'm on strike. So if anyone know a great union to join let me know. Or if anyone can get Christian Bale to dress in a newsboy cap and show up at my apartment to sing "The World Will Know", that'd be pretty dope too. 10 brownie points if you named that movie. 

Frankly, I have a strong belief that if I cook dinner, the other person should do the dishes (if you are good at math and you know there is one other person and a cat living here, you should get who I am talking about...not the cat.) 

But I am not one to gripe about my relationship on the interwebs. Because in fact, my relationship is better than yours. Actually...I don't know. But some people would agree, evidence A: a text message convo from today between me and a friend.

Me: Last night, Brody sang the Reading Rainbow Song AND quoted Fox and The Hound in a 10 minute time span. I. Want. To. Marry. This. Man.

Friend: If you don't procreate with him, I will.

Super creepy but still.

He IS the best guy ever. 

And he is mine,

So stop looking ho.

In other news! All the things I complained about in our apartment got taken care of FINALLY!

I can't believe this is going to be a blog post (this is what happens when someone asks somebody who is super boring to write 4-6 times a week).

2013 is looking amazing so far. Brody has some great things a-happenin. That I don't know if I can say so I won't say it on the internets yet. And I got extra hours at work. Which' monayyyy! So excited. I think this is the year we see a crapload of our debt start to disappear and some pretty big things start to come together. One of those things I hope to be is making money by sitting on my ass eating Apple Jacks in my PJs at 12 o'clock in the afternoon. Just saying...

I am going to put this blogpost out of it's misery already and end it. HAPPY NEW YEAR MY PEEPS!