Saturday, August 24, 2013

My Request For 3 Extra Hours A Day Has Been Denied...Again.

Oh boy. I have been SA-LACKING on this blog. Naughty Arielle! Naughty! 
I have A TON going on right now. Can I tell ya how STRESSED I am?! First of all, this whole home buying thing is crazy. We have no idea what's going on. Like ever. And when someone actually tells us something it's like our brains have no idea how to process the information. We just stand there and I can actually feel drool coming out of my mouth. I feel like I look like this:
 If you do not know this SNL skit you are fired. Go do some YouTubbing and then you may return...and if you don't think that Rachel Dratch is one of the FUNNIEST women of all time, we are over.

So yeah. There's that plus the transition into a new job, starting up my Social Media Management  business, oh and I have been sick since the beginning of August. Yeah. That's been fun. I'm now extremely paranoid that my lungs are just going to fall out of my butt soon. Whether or not that happens, I am still super overwhelmed.
Here is the thing, it doesn't take much to get me stressed out. You can tell me it going to be a little rainy this afternoon and here is what I will picture:

Not even kidding you, one time I was so paranoid I made Taffy sit with me in our bath tub for 3 hours....I can't live in Oklahoma or Kansas.

And you know what adds to the stress? My horrible time management skills. And my A.D.D. I start on one thing and then get distracted by another. Such as this blog post. I Googled "tornados" and ended up watching 3 episodes of The Office and 20 minutes of Sharknado...Tara Reid...just stop. I have tried a planner, but I forget to look at it, I don't even know where my planner is....hmmm....
I have tried using my phone I have like a gazillion apps that try to help me organize my life, and I forget to use them...
So you see, I have a dilemma. I need to find a way to organize my life to where I can balance work, home, business and blog. 
I will be doing a 30 day challenge starting Sept.1st (let's wait til after the move, and the new job and maybe I won't be hacking up a lung every 30 seconds by then..) I will be implementing the following things EVERYDAY for 30 days and hopefully after 30 days it will just be a habit:
A strict cleaning schedule (I'm doing this too: http://bit.ly/LZxJBV )
A planning strategy, I'm not really sure how I will go about this, i have seen some cute printables but I might try and utilize one of my million apps. 
The planning strategy will also include a schedule mapping out time for my business, my blog, and most importantly time with Brody, family and friends. 
I tried doing a blog a day challenge in July but then the house buying got in the way, so starting September 1st I will be doing blog posts everyday during the week. 
This is going to be hard and will take a TON of focus for me. But hopefully it helps. 
What are your tips for staying organized and keeping on top off things? Comment below and I will try them out!

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

WHO WANTS $50?!

A few days ago I wrote about a project that I am SO in love with. If you didn't read it, stop, click here: http://bit.ly/1cdkSMV and then when you are done you may come back....
Did you read it? There's going to be a quiz....Just kidding. I don't have that kind of time. Anyways, as of right now they have less than $20,000 to go and 20 days left of their kickstarter program. So in order to bribe all ya'll to go donate here is what I am going to do..
WHO WANT'S $50?
WHEN Dogtown Redemption makes their goal, I will giveaway a $50 Visa Giftcard to one lucky donor. Here is how you enter:
  • You MUST donate at least $1 to be entered and eligible...ok, so you'll win $49 and get your dollar back....
  • Once you donate you MUST do the following or your entry will NOT count:
    • Like the Not Yo Momma's Blog Fan Page on Facebook
    • Follow me on Twitter @itsme_arielleb
    • When you make a donation afterwards it will tell you to share it with Facebook or Twitter if you share it on Twitter make sure to 1.) tag me in the tweet (again it's @itsme_arielleb) and 2.) use the hashtag #redemptiondoc
    • Post on my Facebook Fan Page IN THE COMMENT SECTION OF THIS POST"S LINK. It will say: WHO WANT'S $50?! Tell me how much you donated.
    • Comment in this section how much you donated, and 5 people you will tell about this awesome documentary.
You have until the 28th to make a donation. I will make the announcement on Aug.29th of the winner. (PS: The more $$$ you donate the more entries you get...and I will have ANOTHER awesome giveaway for the reader who donated the most...hmmmmm...)

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Emancipate Yourself From Mental Slavery, None But Ourselves Can Free Our Minds.

One of my first long term jobs was at a Domestic Violence Shelter. We would take women and children who were fleeing domestic violence and needed a safe place to stay. My job was to answer the crisis line, perform intakes on potential clients and basically make sure everything in the shelter was running smoothly. I've done everything from break out fights, to unscrew deodorant bottles to find baggies of cocaine, talk people out of committing suicide, and making phone calls to Protective Services about bruises on children. All while making a colossal $8.37 an hour. It was THEE toughest job I ever had. 
The burnout was constant. And seeing your paycheck only made it worse. You were emotionally, mentally and physically drained at the end of every shift. Some days you were told "Thank you." Some days you were called a "bitch" and had to avoid being bit. I've seen women come running in with only pajamas on and no shoes. But...it was also the best job I ever had.
I had a better understanding with those with PTSD and mental illness and drug addictions. Hell yeah I can now understand why someone would turn to a substance that would numb them after a day of being beaten and abused. I can understand how someone would become mentally ill after YEARS of being manipulated. 
Not only did this experience open my eyes to Domestic Violence, but it also opened my eyes to homelessness. Domestic Violence is one of the many factors that lead to homelessness. As is mental illness, loss of job, foreclosure, drop in assistance programs, the list can go on and on.
While working at the shelter my biggest wish was to have every person required to work in a shelter for a day. Mostly because I wanted them to see what they had to go through to make $8.37 an hour. Now because I want them to see what it's like to be in a shelter environment.
When you leave a situation like domestic violence you are looking for a place that is serene and calm and quiet. As much as I would love a shelter to be like that, most of the time it is not. Babies and children are screaming and crying, as are women sometimes. There's little privacy if the shelter is full, and many times there is tension between other women and workers. I know what it is like as a worker to be in that environment but to have to LIVE in it. Those women are definitely stronger than I am.
The fact is, is that there is no way for everyone to know what that is like, unless they live it, and I don't wish that on my worst enemy. But it is something that needs to be discussed. And now there is a group of people trying to. 
It's called Dogtown Redemption. And they made a film based in Oakland, California. They have followed the lives of individuals who are living on the streets, doing what they can to survive. They are telling the stories that need to be told. But in order to tell it to the masses they NEED YOUR help. In order to have this film finished they need $47,775. They already have $24,620. They only have 24 days left to go. I have on average 4000 views a month. If every one donates $1 that's $4000, if you tell 1 person and they donate $1 we now have $8000 if they tell 1 person and they donate $1 that's $16,000 and so on and so forth. In order for them to reach their goal they need almost $1000 a day. SO easy if everyone does it. So here's the plan:
1.) Watch the trailer: if you aren't inspired to help...check your pulse
http://www.redemptiondoc.com/trailer.html 

2.) Go to their kickstarter page and donate, for those who donate will be entered to win a prize (prize TBA Tuesday)
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/22534752/dogtown-redemption-0 

3.) Tell your friends: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter ( use #redemptiondoc if you want in on the contest), or use the whole that makes the words. 

This is something that is SO important! We are all equal. We all deserve the same amount of love and happiness and success. We all deserve a place called home and to feel safe there. We are all divine. NO one is lesser than or more than. 

 

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Falling for Fall!

Every year after July 24th (for those of you not familiar with Utah culture, the 24th is a holiday..why? Because Utah can...) I am over the dog days of summer (but not dogs...I love dogs...anytime of the year...) and I am ready for AUTUMN! I am ready for cooler weather (because these triple digits are getting OLD), crisp brightly colored leaves and hoodies! So in my anticipation for fall weather I am dedicating this post to all things fall! 

Before I get into my favorite fall decor let me sidetrack for a second and say...WE GOT A HOUSE! EEEEEEEKKKKK!!!! I am SO excited to be able to OWN a home. We close in like a month and I am stoked. 
Anywhos, since I will be able to decorate how I want to, here are a few decorating ideas I am excited to try out!
 I am in LOVE with this vase set up! Pine cones and twig branches with the sweet little lights just make a home feel cozy. And it can be SUPER inexpensive.
 I am sure there are many of you who have those holiday clingy things that you put on your windows. They look cute from the outside...not so cute on the inside. This combines 2 of my favorite things: Halloween and Practicality. Use some of those window clings to decorate the inside of your home, you can buy the frames at the dollar store and switch the holiday themes out. When there is a giant space between holidays use it as a memo board. Since i can HANG THINGS ON MY WALL NOW...I am definitely doing this!
 I found this SUPER easy and super cute ghost project here: http://www.simplydesigning.net/2011/10/pb-knock-off-hanging-ghosts.html
So excited to make these cuties for one of my favorite holidays!
 I'm all about dining table setups...however we had NO room in our apartment for a table but now, we finally get to have a dining room set! YAY! And you bet your sweet puppy that my dining room table is going to look cute anytime of the year. Combine your favorite fall scented candles (pumpkin spice anyone?) some fake autumn foliage and BAM! Really adorable centerpiece.

Like I said in the beginning, I love hoodie weather. And just hoodies...seriously who ever thought of that sweet little invention, thanks dude. Not only does cooler weather mean hoodie wearing time...it means cute scarfs,boots, hats, jackets, cardigans...you get what I mean. Here's some of the fall fashions I am FALLING for (bwahahahaha I SO SO funny!)

                                                                             

This has everything a girl needs for fall weather. A cute blazer, a scarf and and adorable boots to go with it all.


 
 If you know me, you know that there is NO way I'm going anywhere in those booties. A girl like me likes her shoes like she like her running route: flat and non-existent. But when the weather gets chilly I have to wear shoes...so I will compromise and wear flat heeled ones! But this sweater looks uber comfy!!!


Hoodies and comfy looking shoes. Gotta love it. I have a hoodie obsession. Sometimes in the summer I feel sad because it's too warm to wear them...true story.
 
Every time I see ponchos I think of 2 things: 1.) Super touristy people riding on Splash Mountain at Disneyland (because ya don't want to get yer fanny pack wet eh?) and 2.) Emperor's New Groove. But maybe I'll give it a whirl this fall. Knowing how crazy Utah's weather can be, the layers are perfect. 
 
One last favorite thing about fall: Time to dust off the Slow Cooker! YAY! Love my slow cooker. Nothing is better than coming home on along day and already having dinner ready for you. 
Are you excited for all? What is your favorite thing about Autumn?


 
 




Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Learning To Dance in The Rain

We only have Top Ramen and Eggo Waffles for food in the house. I shed some tears thinking about how I am going to put gas in my car to get me to work...if the car would even start. We don't have any tv to watch as we are selling it for earnest money. Oh and the credit card company calling me today demanding I pay my balance or they'll pursue legal action, wasn't really a great add on to my day either. The apartment is cluttered and filthy and it seems like no matter how many times I clean a surface, it just gets dirty again. 
We had quite a few panic attacks today, going over the loan, paying for the earnest check and the appraisal, figuring out when we will be able to buy groceries. 
After an afternoon of freak out after freak out I finally came to a conclusion.
We have more food than a lot of people. I am lucky enough to have a car so I can get to work (hopefully), there are people that do not have a roof over their heads, yet, we are living under one AND we are buying one. We have more money than most people do. Did I make extremely stupid decisions with my money? For the most part. I couldn't help the part about the medical bills. 
It is OK to be stressed. It is OK to be over-whelmed. It is NOT OK to stay in that state forever. Own this feeling, be aware that you are feeling it, and then....let it go. 
We have no control over 90% of the things that happen in our life. Complaining over our lack of food choices isn't going to make food magically appear. Crying over not having money isn't going to make money appear either. We have to realize what is important and focus on the positive.

We only have a few weeks left of this mess. And then we will be more financially free. Not completely, but more than we have been. We will be OWNING a home. We won't have to listen to a landlord, we won't have to wait for approvals to do things. We won't be shelling out almost $1000 for something we can't say is ours. That's amazing!
And I have to say through everything we have been through with our finances, I am SO grateful for the relationship I have with Brody. Not many couples would have gotten this far. We don't blame each other for things that happen in the past, it won't solve anything. We work together to find a solution. We have respect for each other. I always knew that money is the #1 reason people end relationships and honestly, if we haven't ended things now, I don't think that we ever will. A lot of couples would have ended it and saw that as the easy way out. I don't want my relationship to be easy. I want it to be STRONG.
I have learned to let go of things a lot more. I have a conversation with God and say, "I have no idea what to do with this problem you gave me, I have tried looking at every angle. I trust in you enough to give this problem to you and you will show me the way to the solution." After saying this, I feel so much better. And I have noticed that I will find the perfect solution soon after.



I have choices in how I feel everyday. And I have choices in how I deal with problems. I choose to feel happy, positive, grateful and loving. I choose to deal with my problems full of love and positivity. I am not a Zen master so it does take some extra practice and reminders. But tonight I choose to be grateful for my wonderful partner in crime and the amazing new chapter that is being written for us and tomorrow I will choose to be grateful for the yummy Top Ramen in the pantry. And so it is!




Monday, July 22, 2013

Keep Moving Forward!

I have some awesome news....we are buying a house! YAY! No more renting! SO happy about it! However, we are on a major time crunch, so hopefully things go smoothly. 
Whether we buy a home on time or not, we HAVE to be out of the apartment on Aug. 31st. Just the thought of everything we have to accomplish between now and then made me anxious! But, having moved so many times, I know exactly what to do! Here's a few packing and moving tips to help you too!

Packing
Although we have a little less than 6 weeks to move out, I started packing LAST NIGHT. I packed about 4 boxes. Start packing things like knick knacks and decorations or things you know you can live without for a few weeks. Every weekend pack a few boxes, this way you are not spending hours and days packing . Pack up all your winter clothes first (with Utah's crazy weather, I left out 2 or 3 hoodies...). There is only 2 of us, so when it's time to start packing the kitchen I will just slowly start packing up dishes, (you can also start using paper plates for the week that you are moving). I know we are going to be so busy buying our first home, we won't have time to watch movies or read books, so I packed all of them. If we end up having time to sit down and watch a movie, we can go to the library. 
Packing doesn't need to be expensive. You shouldn't have to pay for cardboard boxes! Ask friends and family, go to your local grocer and ask them for boxes. When we had shipments, we kept the boxes. Also, use what you have for padding instead of going out and buying bubble wrap. I pulled out all my sweaters from my closet and wrapped fragile items in my clothes. I also started keeping all those ads we get in the mail.
With our move, not only are we going to be busy buying a home AND moving, but we have birthdays, trips, and a wedding! So I knew by spacing out the packing, and getting some done every week would cut down on stress and time. We won't be packing up anything but personal hygiene items and food on our moving day.




Multi-task
As I pack, I clean and organize. I throw away or donate a lot of stuff! If you don't want to pack it or move it, get rid of it! Yesterday we put items for sell on Craigslist and other local classified ad. Not only are you getting rid of stuff you don't use, but you are also making money! We are using the money we make on earnest money and for new furniture. 
Also, clean as you go. This is really important for renters! Once you clear out a room, deep clean. If you rent, you probably want that deposit back (which is also nice to use for furniture, or a new deposit if you are renting again). The cleaner your place is, the more you'll get back. 

 Our Living room...it's a mess...

Other Important Things
Not only do you have to pack and unpack, but there are other things you have to take care of when you move:
  • Changing Your Address: UGH! I hate this one the MOST! Collect your mail over the course of 4 to 6 weeks, make note of who is sending you mail. Write down all important addresses that you need to notify. Bills, family and friends, etc. Don't forget to make sure you change your address on your Driver's License. Also put in an address change with the post office so any mail you miss can get forwarded.
  •  Utilities: Make sure you cancel them at your old place and set them up at your new place. This also includes the cable and internet company. 
  • Scheduling the Moving truck: You may need a truck or even a company to help with moving. Schedule 4 weeks out. Call around or do research to get estimates. Also, make sure your boxes are clearly labeled (I even number them.). That way you know what is in every box so if the movers just put them in one general area you know what goes where.
  • Cleaning: In every experience I have had in moving, when I move in somewhere it is disgusting and dirty! Even our brand new apartment was! I would feel bad if I left our old place a mess for the new occupants. If you clean as you pack, you won't have to do too much cleaning after you load up your stuff. As for the new place, if you can, try to get in one to two days before moving in and clean. If you have an air purifier I would suggest setting it up then, that way when you move in everything is clean and there is no dust floating around.
  • Making the new place look and feel like home: Get paint samples a few weeks ahead, look around your new home pretty thoroughly. Does it need new counter tops? New floors? What can you afford NOW and what can wait? 
I hope this is helpful! You will probably hear more from me as the weeks go by! Hopefully I have more good news to share soon! What are some of your favorite packing tips?  

Monday, July 1, 2013

Viva Las Vegas!!

This weekend my mom and I took a much needed vacation to Vegas. I had some major success in sales and was able to get tickets to Celine Dion.
We left Friday afternoon and we were pretty stoked. We drove since it was only a 6 hour drive and SO much cheaper than flying.
 We were pretty stoked...

The drive was nice and fast because my mom doesn't know how to drive under 80 mph....just saying.

We arrived at the Embassy Suites by the Las Vegas Convention Center. We got a deal on expedia.com for $199 for two nights. And we LOVED our experience. 
First of all the location is convenient, it's on Paradise Blvd, so it's not right on the strip, which I think is better. It's walking distance to the monorail so you can easily get to the strip without the pain of driving and trying to find a place to park. The room was clean and was really nice. The bed was super comfy and we had an awesome view:
This is from our balcony. We were on the 7th floor. It was even more stunning at night!!

They also have a complimentary breakfast that isn't just yogurt and toast, they have omelets and french toast and bacon and other cooked items. Their home fries are SO GOOD! 
And between 5:30-7:30 (I think) they have a Manager's Reception, which I think was the best deal. Free drinks and snacks. Yeah, where else can you get that besides the casinos?
Some people will not like the fact that there is no casino but with my chronic bronchitis, I can't be in a casino for very long which brings me to my next thing:
I brought my Breathe oil from DoTerra, I could feel my lungs were getting very irritated by the end of day one because we walked through some casinos, I just rubbed some of the oils on my chest, on the back of my neck where my lymph nodes are, and the bottom of my feet and I was breathing much better.
Anyways. 
When we were done getting settled into the room we went to New York New York via monorail,
 
  New York New York has a very special place in our hearts since my mom is from new York AND it's my 2 favorite places in one place! Well...the real New York is waaaaaay better than the Hotel/Casino is but I'll take what I can get..
We walked the strip and and looked in some shops. And then after being in a car all day and being in 115 degree heat we were pretty tired. I feel really old for going to bed at like 11pm and waking up before 7. Usually 23 year old people are just getting back from the clubs before 7am. Whatevs.
Since we woke up early on Saturday we hit Fremont street pretty early. I had never been to Fremont street before and I loved it! It was more laid back than the Strip. After that we went to pick up the tickets for the concert!! I was SO excited to finally have the tickets in my hands! We hung out at the Forum Shops at Caesar's Palace and then drove over to the Fashion Show Mall.
Vegas is definitely a different world. $90 for a friggin face cream. We walked around Jimmy Choo and they had shoes on clearance and their clearance prices for shoes were like $300! FOR SHOES! That's like 2 car payments! And when I found out the regular price for a pair of shoes I could hear the children of Africa crying. For reals. Why would you spend that much?! It better be like walking on clouds made from fluffy gold. I better have insurance included in that price. They better be dirt resistant. 
We went back to the room to get ready for the concert. It was our one night to get dressed up in Vegas.

I felt super weird in such a short dress but it's Vegas not Provo so whatever.
The concert was AMAZING!!!! I pretty much cried during the whole thing. Not even kidding. And not like just teary eyed crying, like full on bawling. 
I am so happy I was able to share it with my mom. Some people would have rather taken a friend or a spouse but not me, I am so happy that I got to share this experience with my mom. She works so hard and hasn't had a vacation in forever. It is something I will remember forever. I am glad that I was the one who was able to fulfill a dream that we had for years. At the concert I remembered how I used to lay on the floor listening to Celine's records and how I used to rewind our tape of Beauty and the Beast just to listen to the end credits song over and over. It was amazing to finally see the singer who I used to just listen to through speakers, sing in person. 
On that note I have one major learning lesson from this trip. I feel like it is important for anyone traveling to Vegas...Strawberry Daiquiri's + Cheese Corn= no bueno. Don't mix the two...no matter how hungry you are. Bad news bears.

Monday, June 24, 2013

Can I Be Fabulous For A Living?

Once upon a time, I had great ambitions. I wanted to be a Lawyer or a Social Worker or a whatever. Blah blah blah. Now...I just want someone to fold my laundry.
For over the last year I was spoiled with my employment, take care of a toddler, take her to the zoo, clean up shit. Whatevs. And then I had to get a real job, where I have to know how to use the computer thingy and do actual thinking stuff. Yeah. I know. So sad.
I am going to let you in on a little secret. I interview amazingly. Like for reals. When I go into a job interview I OWN it. But sometimes it's a curse. Because the guy interviewing you totally thinks you are awesome when in fact you have the IQ of a cucumber. Not even kidding, these last few weeks I have come to realize...I am a total dumbass.
Things don't stick in my brain. I have to be told over and over again. And QuickBooks? OH GOD put me out of my misery!!!
Last night I started to think about how I have never come across something that I can see me doing for the rest of my life. I am not good at anything. Except being sarcastic. And complaining. But the position for Larry David has already been filled so...yeah.
                                                                Oh Larry, you slay me..

So as I am writing this list I started to really think, "What am I good at? What do I LIKE to do?" I ended up throwing my list away because the following would not get me a career:
  • Eating Chocolate
  • Eating Pie
  • Eating food
  • Petting Puppies
  • Petting Kitties
  • Petting fluffy animals
  • Sleeping
  • Watching Disney movies
  • Watching Bravo! Reality shows
  • Reading Books
Unless there is a petting zoo/ chocolate factory where we can take naps and watch Disney movies....no? Ok.
The closest thing I could get to was working at a library...but I'd actually have to do stuff...not just read books.
I honestly wonder where the hell that ambitious girl went. What the EFF little girl? You were supposed to make us bukoo bucks!
I am now to the point of frustration because I want to be doing something I love and I want to do it for the rest of my working career. I'm also frustrated because I do not know what that is. I would love to write for a living but I don't even know what to write about. I don't think anyone will pay me to write about how my cat steals cake and I'm too shy to shit in front of my boyfriend. That'd be cool though.
Last night in my frustration my little brain said, "OHEMGEE ARIELLE! We could like totally like, be like a housewife! TEEHEE!" (Told ya I was dumb...) Yes brain that would totally work because sitting on my ass all day will pay the rent!
I am working on this thing were I realize that I am not my job. I am not defined by what I do or how much money is in my bank account. It's a work in progress.
I'm sure a lot of you have been in this situation. Or you ARE in this situation. Either way feel free to comment about it and we can all cry on each others shoulder and eat nutella from the jar. Until then, I am going back to scheming of a way to get Bravo to do a Real Housewives of Utah...



Sunday, June 23, 2013

That One Thing We Shouldn't Talk About But I Am But I Shouldn't...Don't Judge.

I'm going to write about something that I hope someone, somewhere relates to. It is something that you wouldn't necessarily speak about, even to your closest girlfriends. This is going out on a limb for me...and I'm pretty much shedding all dignity that I have to write about this...I am talking about....the day your partner realizes that you do number 2.
Oh yes ladies, number 2. You know exactly what I am talking about. 
Women are held to a standard that we do not have any gross bodily functions. We don't fart, shart, burp, poop, pee or anything else...yet it's totally acceptable to bleed out of our cooters...anyways. However, it is TOTALLY fine for guys to do this. We expect it from them. We have been trained since toodler-hood that boys fart and it is gross.
Brody and I will have been together 2 years in August. I managed to go 18 months without farting in front of him. It was a total accident and I was really tempted to jump off our 4th floor apartment balcony. Kill. Me. Now. 
When I use the "facilities" I turn on the fan AND the sink. Even if I'm just tinkling...I was scarred when I was 14 and ever since I have to have noise in order for me to "go..."
It was 8th grade. I went to use the restroom. There were about 4 girls in there. I knew it was going to come, but I was trying SO hard to hold it in...but it wasn't going to happen. It had to come out. Now this wasn't a gross loud fart. It was more of a whisper. But the girls still heard it. And they started to laugh. One of the girls said "OH MY GOD! SOMEONE LOOK TO SEE WHAT SHOES THEY ARE WEARING!!" I immediately stood up on the seat and stayed there for about 45 minutes...I then threw my shoes on the trash and proceeded to walk home where I changed my shoes. When my mother asked later that night why I missed a class I told her I was in the bathroom throwing up...
Fast forward to today. I'm pretty sure I used enough water in almost 10 years to create a new man-made reservoir. 
When Brody first started staying the night I would hold everything until he left. Yeah. And then we started talking about moving in together my first thought wasn't, "I am so happy, we can start our lives together!! EEEEE!!" It was, "Eff...when am I going to go to the bathroom?" 
Side note: Is it weird that as I am writing this I am listening to Mariah Carey's "Without You"? 
Anyways. 
If you are a professional therapist, you may say, "You should read, Everybody Poops". To that I reply, "No." 
I'm not going to go into too much detail, but have you ever flushed and then instead of the water going down...it comes up? And we always think it will help if we talk to it.
"Omygod, please don't do this. Go down. GO DOWN."
"I swear to God if you just stop I will eat more fiber and drink more water!"
"I don't have strong enough biceps to take care of this!"
And if you are me, you turn on the shower. And when you are done, you walk out of the bathroom...still clothed...and not wet...it makes me feel better ok?
I wish I could tell you that there is a point to this post. But, yeah, no. I wish I could say, that I have overcome my fear of people knowing my bathroom business and I am now conserving water...nope. I will continue to refuse using a bathroom with automatic sinks. 

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Dear Future Baby Freestone

What up gangsta? Just kidding, pull up your pants and stop saying, "Yo", you look stupid. Anyways. 
You are not really even a thought yet. Mommy and Daddy are definitely not ready for you. In fact, we still do the happy dance when I go to pick up my birth control pills. Don't feel bad, it's not you, it's just mommy should probably not lose her bra on a daily basis before she is responsible for a life. Also mommy needs to raise her credit score a few points.
You may be reading this and say, "but those people on the still a hit show "16 and Pregnant" didn't care about their credit score." First of all, I want you to look up past cast members of 16 and Pregnant. Second of all, if your biggest aspiration is to be on "16 and Pregnant" we are going to have some words. If you are a girl (fingers crossed...I have a bunch of Freestones' counting on me to deliver a girl...it's like producing an heir...I'm pretty sure if I don't get a girl by the third try, I'm going to be be-headed...so try and grow a vagina ok!) I am going to lock you up like you are imprisoned in Fort Knox. You can come out when you are 25 and finished with online college. And after you gain employment. If you are a guy...dude your dad will talk to you. I don't know. 
This is getting off track. That's another reason why Mommy shouldn't have babies just yet, Once mommy can make complete sentences that make sense, then we talk about babies.
ANYWAYS. So the reason why I am writing to you is, you have put me through hell...already. Girls get this horrific thing called a period. (If you are a boy, 2 things: 1.) you're about to be disgusted. 2.) Why aren't you a girl?! Mommy loves you...) a period is when our uterus (a girl thingy jig) says "AH! Time to lay an egg and let it fertilize! I am SO excited!" And we say "Woah Uterus, calm the eff down, I am not ready to be mom so I can't fertilize this egg." And then Uterus is like, "WHAT. THE. HELL? IS MY EGG NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU? AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?!" And at this time we are thinking, "Oh shit. We pissed her off..." And then She starts RIPPING THE WALLS OF HERSELF LIKE A FUCKING LUNATIC! And she does it for like a week and we bleed...FROM OUR COOTER! Yeah. And we get this beautiful thing called cramps. But your mommy has something called endometrisosis so her cramps are like 10 times worst. And mommy has cramps all the time. They are so bad that she had to get surgery to help it. And this little bleeding thing happens every month. 
On top of the surgeries and the constant pain, your mommy had an Ovarian Cyst burst today. Yeah. If that wasn't painful enough. I thought I was going to be on the next episode of "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant."
ON TOP OF THAT. After you are done cooking and ready to join us, mommy has to go through MORE pain and bleeding, her boobs will hurt and she will never sleep again. I don't want to traumatize you but heed my warning, when you are on Pinterest and you see a pin that says, "Things They Don't Tell You About Childbirth." DON'T CLICK ON IT! DO NOT READ IT UNLESS YOU ARE 3 DAYS AWAY FROM GIVING BIRTH AND THERE IS NO TURNING BACK! It will make you wish you were still a virgin.
So, anyways. The lesson in all this is: there is many a times when I want to grab the closest noodle ladle and scoop everything out. I have been told by many doctors that is would be easiest and the best thing to do. Today I was told that try to get you here would be difficult and we may not get you here at all. But after everything my ovaries and I have been through, all the pain, I have told every doctor "no." Because you, little baby, are going to be worth it. But just a few things, since I have been through OH SO MUCH AGONY (cue dramatic-guilt inducing mother voice) here's just something you should think about...
  • Your dad is pretty adorable. Like not even kidding. He has the puppy-dog eyes down. He could out puppy-dog eye any toddler any day. Please take on your father's adorableness. But just not his puppy-dog eyes, you would never hear the word "no."
  • If you are a girl, please don't be a horrible teenager, I may kill you.
  • If you are a boy, please don't have a fascination with fire. Or jumping off of things. Please don't ask your father about either of these things. Just don't do it.
  • If we, your parents, have a rule and your grandparents say "EFF THAT RULE!" politely say, "Excuse me, but the lady who push me forth from her loins said I can not have 5 sticks of cotton candy and be up past 11 pm. I am 4, not a drunk sorority girl." I'm pretty sure your grandparents will be perfectly fine watching you, they did a wonderful job raising your dad and I, but you know grandparents, they have a hard time saying no.
  • Above anything else, if you totally forget these things...PLEASE be healthy. Please don't do what I did to my mother. I know how you don't have any control over this but your dad and I will have to fight tooth and nail to get you here so please be healthy. I am not as strong as my mom so I wouldn't even know how to deal with it. Just be healthy..OK? ok!
So yeah. There ya go kid. I figured everything else we can talk about it when we cross that bridge. Oh and...it's going to be a bitch finding jeans for you. I'm 5'11 and your dad is 6'3...sorry. Anywhos. Ok baby, you just stay a thought for awhile! You will come to us when we are ready, whether we know it or not! But please no sooner than like 3 years...mommy has to get her shit together...and find her bra...again...

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Pity...Party of One!

"Why are you so angry?" 
The voice was so loud, it startled me. At first I thought it was Brody, but he was fast asleep next to me. 
Did I talk in my sleep? Maybe. I wake myself up all the time from talking in my sleep. 
"Why are you so angry?"
The voice was definitely mine. But I wasn't speaking the words. It took me a minute to recognize my voice. It didn't sound like me at first. It was a loud, clear, powerful voice. 
"Why are you so angry?"
I figured I had better answer it, although I wasn't really angry at the time...but just like the question, the answer came from a place I wasn't aware of.
"I am tired of people taking advantage of me. I am tired of people giving me their laundry lists of "to-do's" and then walking away. They expect me to be apart of their life for their own gain and I am left here with nothing."
"What do you want from them?"
It took me a minute. What DO I want from them? Something tangible? Recognition?
"I want them to just be there for ME. I want them there when I need them."
"Let them go."
The voice, well, my voice, became soft. Instead of a powerful boom, it became sad. As if, it too, knew that this choice was difficult. 
"I can't they need me."
"They don't NEED you. They WANT what you have to offer. You offer loyalty, which people take advantage of because they know that you will bend backwards, upside down and inside out to do what they want you to do." 
Now I just think I am insane for having this "conversation" in my head. I lay still for a few minutes. I begin to think that my mind has quieted itself so I try to fall back asleep.
..........
"When did you become so angry?"
I don't know! Am I an angry person all the time? 
Yes.
I am.
Everyday something angers me, something frustrates me, something annoys me. And I try to push through and see the positive and most days it happens but sometimes I just stay mad. 
Does that make me an angry person? Or a person who FEELS anger sometimes? 
You can't put that in Google and find an answer.
When did I become so angry?
From a young age I was taught to fear. Don't cross the street you'll get hit by a car. Don't leave the front yard, you'll be kidnapped. Don't eat that piece of Halloween candy, there's a needle in it. People are mean, people will hurt you. There's a fine line protection and instilling fear. 
When you have a parent who works for the police department, you learn how to fear at a young age. 
It was hard to see the good people through all the bad ones that were shoved in my face on a daily basis. And it wasn't just from "stories at work." It was on the news that we watched every night, it was in the paper I could read by the age of 6, it was the stories the other kids would tell. I grew up faster than I wanted to. And at age 11 I learned the word "terrorist". When the world was meant to be sunshine, rainbows and unicorns, I learned that people were capable of flying planes into buildings on PURPOSE. No one held my hand and said, "look at those people helping each other." Instead at 7:03 am over a bowl of cornflakes, I watched my grandmother have a full on panic attack. My sister, my usual protector, was at school. My mother was at work. Guess who had to fix it? The 11 year old who just figured out how to put her hair into a ponytail and just learned of the phrase "terrorist attack. I had to grow up in a millisecond. I was the one to say, "It will be ok. Everybody will be fine." And I lit my grandmothers cigarette for her and got ready for school. Because that's what grown ups do. 
That's when I became angry. 
It's nobody's fault. People either don't know better or they can't control how they feel. It wasn't like my entire childhood was spent inside hiding from potential kidnappers and sexual offenders. There are children who have seen a hell of a lot worse than I did. There are children who have to learn how to just survive from day one. So this is when the guilt comes in.
People learned fast that you can guilt me into anything. I can almost guarantee that someone will guilt me into taking this post down. Although I have teetered on to almost growing a backbone, sometimes it magically disappears. And I feel guilt all the time. I feel guilt when I forget to wash the dishes for Christ's sake. I feel guilt for things that I have no control over. I feel guilt for things that have absolutely nothing to do with me. It's something I am working on. 


"Let. It. Go."
After losing myself for a minute, the powerful voice came back.
"Get over yourself. Stop letting your past define how to deal with today. You didn't have a shitty childhood. Yes, you had shitty stuff happen but so what? Are you here? Are you breathing? Are you laying next to a man who loves you and would do anything for you? Stop being a cry baby and LET. IT. GO. Shit happens to everybody. Shit even happens to fucking Oprah. Is she an angry person? I don't think a person who gives out cars to random people is an angry person. Stop being so angry! You can't control 90% of your life so stop worrying about it. And you can choose the other 10% so be happy with it. You are 23 years old, not some bitter 80 year old whose life is coming to a close. You are not in a slum just trying to survive. Your life is pretty fantastic. And there are people in your life who take advantage of you. DROP THEM. They don't add any value to your life. If they won't even show up to play the game, stop adding them to the roster. Respect yourself enough to let them go. Send them love. And let them go. Every time you begin to get angry with them. Send them love and let them go. Don't send anyone away with anger, even your worst enemy, because if you send away with anger, it will return. Just send love. And let go." 
Oh holy shit....my "Mufasa" voice can give some awesome quotes. Did you just read that? I don't mean to toot my own horn but "Toot. Toot." That all came from me. 
I feel like I lost 40 pounds. If I could make my "Mufasa" voice my regular voice, i could do SO much. I could accomplish so many things. 
There is a poem by Shel Silverstein called the voice:
 
There is a voice inside of you
That whispers all day long,
“I feel that this is right for me,
I know that this is wrong.”
No teacher, preacher, parent, friend
Or wise man can decide
What’s right for you– – just listen to
The voice that speaks inside.

I don't need to listen to other people. I can CHOOSE to and ask for advice. But if it's not right for me I don't need to listen or take it. I can CHOOSE how my day goes, no one else does. People can be horrible to me BUT I CHOOSE how I deal with that. And I CHOOSE to let go of anger and be happy.

 

Monday, April 22, 2013

I Can't Use My Amazing Biceps To Fix This Bookshelf ANNNND WE HAVE A WINNER!

I have probably said this once or twice but...MAN I am busy! Just a few more weeks and I will have more time to give this blog the love it needs! 
Since our itty bitty apartment has no "office space" for my stuff (they have a "desk" which 1.) our legs don't fit under it and 2.) it barely had room for our computer so the rest of my office stuff is homeless) I came up with a genius idea! Not really. I got a book shelf. Whatever. Anyways. I spent a good 45 minutes trying to fix the shelves and the backing on it. Now it sits totally dismantled on our bedroom floor. PS: nail polish bottles, high heel shoes, scissors, and paddle brushes make horrible substitutes for hammers. So now I have to wait for Brody to get home because he takes the tools to work with him. 
I wanted to give you guys an up date on the fitness journey. I worked out 4 days last week and I am going to workout 4 days this week. I love how I feel after I workout but I have ZERO motivation. Fo reals. Do you guys have any tips on what would motivate me? Don't say pictures of girls with hot bodies because I look at those and say, "Bitch I don't care about that." and don't send me videos of double amputees becoming profesh body builders, because, although mean for me to say, I'll say, "that's lovely but i have both my legs, good for them but I don't care." What I need is Billy Blanks bursting through my door at 5 am yelling at me until I am in tears. Don't tell me to find a work out buddy. i don't want a work out BUDDY. I want a work out TORTURER...unfortunately those cost big bucks and I just paid $300 for a medical bill today. So yeah. But I am starting back with Pole classes next week! YAY! So excited! I definitely feel a lot stronger since I started working out and it'll be nice to have that strength when I start up with dance again. PS: I posted my workout stuff on my pinterest, in a minute I will figure out how to get that posted on my blog.....

I'll do my updated fitness pics next week right before I start dance classes so you guys can see that wee bit of difference I have made. 

And now I need to announce my winner for my first giveaway YAAAAAYYY!!! So my winner is...Thais Stewart! WOOT WOOT! Send me your email girl, so we can get started on getting you the amazing book, The Charge

Annnnd, I have a giveaway going on in a few weeks and I am SO excited! I can't tell you what it is yet buuuut it's going to be AWESOME! 

Saturday, April 13, 2013

How Can You Serve Greatly?

So really quickly, I want to finish up the sweepstakes for the book. The Charge, By Brendon Burchard. First of all, I am only 60 pages in but I am in LOVE! At first things started out super slow and it took me 3 or 4 days just to get to page 20 and then all of a sudden, it felt like a million lightbulbs went off in my head all at once. I am so excited for whoever wins the book and even if it's not you, I sincerely hope you buy it. 
So I wanted to go over super quickly the last 3 things Mr. Burchard talks about. 
#5: Productivity: I suck at being productive. FYI. SUCK! I am horrible at getting things accomplished. Why? 1.) I am the poster child for procrastination. I have been since 1995. And I really don't have the excuse of "I work better under pressure." Unless, by "better" you mean, having panic attacks the night before and ripping out hair in my sleep, then, oh yeah, I'm AWESOME at working under pressure. 2.) Um...I get distracted. In 2008 in my first semester at college, I was diagnosed with A.D.D, it's not extremely bad but if I don't try to keep it under control it can get worse, which in the last year I have notice it has. Still, it's not like I have to wear a harness when Brody takes me grocery shopping...he can still use my belt loops...anyways. Things like, Facebook and my email make me distracted, oh and the new shiny smartphone I got last night. So when Brendon says to move your email and social media stuff to the LAST part of your work day, I felt like I lost 100 pounds in 10 seconds. Do you know how much stuff I can get done with that crap out of the way?! I could get housework done, and stuff done for work and even write more on my blog! AMAZING!

#6: Persuasion: If you buy your book off of Amazon or Barnes and Noble online and you email your receipt you can get exclusive training videos from Brendon. And usually, I would think he is super annoying, because super peppy people...annoy me. But he really isn't "peppy" he is just SO enthusiastic about what he is talking about! He makes you feel like you can succeed and that you can easily change your life for the better. I was envious at first, because I would LOVE to have that type of enthusiasm in my life. And then I realized...that I can. Whenever you talk to someone BE ENTHUSIASTIC! Think about it, if you were to walk into a store and you were looking for a pair of shoes or even maybe you go to a card dealership and you are looking to buy a car, would you be confident in your purchase if the sales person was unenthusiastic and didn't really are about the car or the shoes you were looking at? Uh...probably not. You probably wouldn't even want to buy anything for awhile. But if your car salesman was enthusiastic and WANTED to tell you all the features the car has to offer and the great deals he can get you and how he feels about the car, you will most likely buy it. The salesman who didn't seem to care about you or the car, probably makes no money and is miserable. The guy who was SO excited for you and excited about the car, probably makes a ton of sales and loves what he does. BE EXCITED ABOUT SHIT, DAMMIT! Love what you do! And if you don't love it, DO SOMETHING ELSE! 

So we started off with #2 remember? Now we are back to #1. Which was a HUGE AHA moment for me. It is PURPOSE. When Brendon said these words in the video, I immediately paused it and wrote them on my mirror. Everyday you should ask yourself, ready for this?,...."HOW CAN I SERVE GREATLY TODAY? Oh holy ballsauce. I was floored. What can YOU do for others today? How can you serve others today? Let's stop being so friggin greedy for a second and ask what you can do for other people! once you do that, you find purpose. Before I work ANY party I ask myself many times, "How can I empower women tonight?" As guests walk in I ask myself, "How can I empower them?" When they come to order something, "How can I empower them?" It has made my life more fulfilling and amazing! It has made me feel more love for my business! HOW CAN I SERVE GREATLY? It's like I can see Oprah totally freaking out over it. LOVE IT!

Alrighty people. You have 2 questions: 1.) How do you demonstrate enthusiasm everyday? and 2.) HOW CAN YOU SERVE GREATLY? 

I am going to give away one of Brendon Burchard's book of The Charge. Here's how you can win:
Comment on your goals for each step, or how you are accomplishing this step = 1 entry
Share on Facebook and comment here that you shared it = 1 entry
Share it on Twitter and comment here that you shared it (make sure to include @itsme_arielleb in the tweet) = 1 entry
Share it on Pinterest and comment here that you shared it = 1 entry.
I will pick a random winner on April 17th.  GOOD LUCK!!!!
 

Monday, April 1, 2013

A Few Things.....

WHEW! This girl has been running around like a cray cray chicken with it's head cut off. More importantly, this girl has had yet another flare up with her Bronchitis. Bleh. Oh well, I can feel it start to go away. So a few things:

  • I am horrible at "following through" people are probably wondering when my next exercise post is and when I'll announce the winner of the book giveaway. 
    • First of all, I haven't really been exercising. I started off doing yoga every morning but then I tore my shoulder and had to stop for a few days....and ended up stopping for a lot of days....it's a mixture of how busy I have been and just my lack of motivation, but things are going to start to get a hell of a lot easier around here so I'll be back soon!
    • Book giveaway is coming soon! I have to finish the rest of the posts and then I will announce the winner. Hopefully this week. If not, next week. I was hoping to do it the day after I came home from Las Vegas but I was dead tired and sick as a dog. So it never happened and then I went back to work and came home exhausted and ya'll know how life gets in the way. 

  • So let me explain why I am so busy. If I have anybody out there who has a direct selling business, they will understand. It takes up a ton of your time when you first start out. I am trying to learn how to balance everything but having a job on top of everything makes it hard. But soon I will be going to summer hours and can get more things done. After I am done with the book giveaway, I am going to write once a week. I know a little while ago I was writing a lot but now it's just gotten too much. This blog (along with my business) is my baby, and I am not going to let it go anytime soon. So this isn't goodbye it's just, I'm not going to see you as often....think of it as, NYMB is going off to college and will come home when it needs to do laundry. 

So expect to see a winner for the book by next week and an exercise post...um...someday soon. Maybe. Right now the cat thinks the yoga mat is her new bed, and I'm not ready to break the bad news to her yet. But thank you thank you thank you for all the support and love you have given the blog and it will continue to grow, just in baby steps for right now. 

Monday, March 18, 2013

Workin On YO Fitness!

The Transporter movies are absolutely terrible. Just saying. 
ANYWHO. 
So yesterday I talked about finding and living your truth. Did you figure out your words? 
Today I am going to talk about step 4 of Brendon Burchard's High Performance Academy. I was going to vlog this one too but the second I got through the door the pantalones and the bra came off and now I am in my comfy sweats....maybe tomorrow....but highly unlikely.
So step 4 is Physiology (another reason I didn't vlog this: It would have taken me about 10 minutes to try to say that...I'm a girl of simple words....)
So the question you say to ask yourself everyday is really extremely simple: Am I rested and hydrated? 
How many of you college kids pulled an all-nighter on an essay or to study and found the results not as good as you hoped it to be. As I have gotten older I have realized how important sleep is. If I don't get sleep. my immune system will crash, I can't focus and I find my self performing less than stellar work. Millionaires and successful people know this. You don't see them partying til wee hours of the morning. They know they need to be at the top of their A game everyday and they can't unless they are healthy, which means well-rested.
I can not tell you enough how frustrated I was when every morning I was fatigued and exhausted and had no energy to achieve my goals. 
We could spend months and years talking about how to improve your health. But since I am not a doctor and since this is not a fitness blog (chya...like that would ever happen..7/10 posts on this blog talks about my consumption of beer and nutella...) I am going to talk about 1.) the two simple, no-brainer ways you can improve your health and 2.) what I am doing to improve my health.
Get plenty of sleep and drink plenty of water. BOOM. That's it. Simple, right?! First of all you need between 7-9 hours of sleep. Every. night. Not 7-9 during the week and then 3-4 hours on the weekend. Every night. And it is best to try and sleep on the same schedule. I kiiiiinda suck at this. On nights when I have a Slumber Party I get home anywhere between 9-11. And I stay up to organize my stock, my "office" (aka my closet...), put in any backorders etc etc. So I end up going to bed between 11pm and 1 am. At nights I don't have a party...in bed between 8pm and 10pm. Naughty. 
I have started drinking between 80 and 100 ounces of water a day. Last winter my kidneys almost went into failure twice and got horrible infections. I was out of commission for a long time. Now if I don't have water for about 3 hours I will actually get extremely nauseous. Now the whole "how much water should I drink a day?" think has had SO many different answers and again, I'm not a doctor (nor do I want to be, like 10 years of school...no thanks!) but I asked my doctor and we discussed a healthy amount between how much I weigh and my health history. But since guzzling down water I have noticed a HUGE difference. My skin is clearer, my hair healthier, I have more energy and I don't crave junk food as much.
Other things that I have started doing is trying to figure out ways to eat healthier: I am consuming more fruits and veggies. I'm trying to opt for more non-processed foods (except beer and nutella...let's not jump the gun here folks). I educated myself about ingredient lists and nutrition labels. I carry a water bottle EVERYWHERE. I am getting more into essential oils and natural remedies. 
So that's it for this step....simple yeah? What are YOU doing to improve your physiology (how in the hell do you say that?!), or how you do intend to?
  
I am going to give away one of Brendon Burchard's book of The Charge. Here's how you can win:
Comment on your goals for each step, or how you are accomplishing this step = 1 entry
Share on Facebook and comment here that you shared it = 1 entry
Share it on Twitter and comment here that you shared it (make sure to include @itsme_arielleb in the tweet) = 1 entry
Share it on Pinterest and comment here that you shared it = 1 entry.
I will pick a random winner on March 25th. Make sure you do this for the next 2 posts after this one. GOOD LUCK!!!!

Sunday, March 17, 2013

What's Your Word?

Last night I talked about being more present everyday. Today I was going to try Vlogging (video blogging) but um...I had an allergic reaction to something any my eyelids are swollen and I have hivey welts all over. So that will not be happening. 
Today I am going to talk about the 3rd step that High Performance people use everyday. It is Psychology. 
Great people know how to use every aspect of their minds and know how other people use their minds as well. Millionaires, intellectuals, and leaders also have a great sense of direction. They know what they are doing, how they need to do it and how to achieve it. They don't just show up to work and say, "I'll just do whatever today, meh, whatever happens, happens." They have a plan. And they follow it. The question you need to be asking yourself every day is:
Am I living my truth?
Your truth associates with your identity. It's about knowing who you are. So that means you have know what your truth is! How do you figure out what your truth is? 
Pick 3 words. 3 separate words that define who you are as a person. Just 3. What words define who you are or who you want to be? My words are: PRESENT, OPTIMISTIC, LOVING.
I say these words to myself throughout the day. I have it written on my mirror in my room, my rearview mirror in my car (small and on the side so it's not distracting...). I have them written in my planner on the top of every page and I have it written as a banner on my phone. 
Now pick 3 more words. 3 words that define how you interact with other people. When people talk to you or spend time with you, how do you want them to feel when you are with them? How would you want them to describe you if you walked away? My words are: LOYAL, INSPIRING, CARING. These words are with my other 3 words in the same places. Before I speak or engage with another person, I repeat these words in my head. And repeating them will make me act this way towards that person. 
By asking yourself if you are living your truth, you are asking yourself if you are those words that you picked. I have to ask myself, "Am I being present, am I being optimistic, am I being Loving?" If the answer is no to any of those three, I need to step back and figure out how to get back on track, because if you're not being your words, you are not living your truth.
When Brendon Burchard talked about this it reminded me of the book, Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. While Elizabeth is in Italy, she is asked what her word is. She says her word is "writer" because that's what she does. A friend of her says, "That is what you do, but it's not who you are." I love that. I think people define themselves too often by how much money is in the bank or how much success they have in their work. That's a part of your life, but that doesn't make up who you are. Liz goes in search for her word throughout her journey and in the end finds it. I had to think long and hard about what my words are. It's kind of morbid how I figured it out but I imagined my funeral (yeah...morbid I know.) and what I would want people to say about me. I would want them to say, "Arielle was always present." "Arielle made the best out of every situation, she was so optimistic." "Arielle was a very loving woman." 
When I interact with others I ask myself, "In this relationship, am I being loyal? Am I uplifting this person and inspiring them? And am I showing them that I care about them and their feelings?" 
Once you have these words, you have a road map! You aren't just wandering about aimlessly, you have direction and you know where to go. 
These words, once repeated on a daily basis, will start to change your thoughts which in turn will change your behaviors. You need to describe the version of your higher self. And strive everyday to live up to those standards. 
 I am going to give away one of Brendon Burchard's book of The Charge. Here's how you can win:
Comment on what your 6 words are = 1 entry
Share on Facebook and comment here that you shared it = 1 entry
Share it on Twitter and comment here that you shared it (make sure to include @itsme_arielleb in the tweet) = 1 entry
Share it on Pinterest and comment here that you shared it = 1 entry.
I will pick a random winner on March 25th. Make sure you do this for the next 5 posts after this one. GOOD LUCK!!!!
For more information about The Charge by Brendon Burchard and his other books visit: http://www.brendonburchard.com/
For information about Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and her other works visit: http://www.elizabethgilbert.com/
 

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Be Present and Win Stuff YAAAAY!

So for those of you who don't know, I'm back to doing Slumber Parties (for a while now but...whatevs). Anywho, so convention is in Vegas on Thursday (EEEEEK SO EXCITED!) and to earn a little extra dough I thought I'd throw a party at my place. I  put together a cute gift basket, scrubbed the apartment for like 6 hours, yada yada yada. I had like 20 girls RSVP....3 showed up. Kill. Me. Now. It ended up working out fine and I really enjoyed it and was SO happy to see the girls who came. But I was also kiiiiiiinda pissed. I had friends who knew about the party like a month ago and totally flaked and it was just really annoying. 
Afterwards I get on the phone and call my girl Kirshna, who has just moved to Kansas and was really bummed they couldn't wait another week so she can make it. 
"Our house has a storm cellar. I want to leave."
"You could totally get a little black dog and dress up like Dorthy!"
"No. That would be stupid. How'd your party go? I'm really mad I missed it."
"People flaked. 3 people showed up and I'm really glad they did and it means SO much to me but yeah...still a little pissed. Now I'm all discouraged and I don't know if I can be successful...."
"Baby girl, the actions of other people do not define your success, once you allow it to, you no longer want to be successful. YOU make your success."
"..................."
"Ar, are you there?"
"That was deep. Holy shit, that wasn't even like Oprah or Dr. Phil deep, that was Dali Lama deep."
"Thanks...I try."
"That really helped me, a lot. Thank you!!"
After whining about how much we missed each other we hung up and I logged on to Facebook. All of a sudden a Facebook page popped up, I must have accidentally clicked on it. It was a page for Brendon Burchard. He was some motivational speaker. He wrote a book called The Charge. I have no idea what possessed me but I said to myself, "I want that book.' And found myself buying it on Amazon....I haven't done that in forever. Everytime I want to buy something I don't NEED I mull it over for days and days and day. 70% of the time I don't buy it. The other 30% I do but then I spend a week in guilt. Pure, nasty, "Irish-Catholic-grandmother-found-out-you-were-having-a-baby-out-of-wedlock-and-the-father's-a-Baptist" guilt. I bought 2 dresses that I NEED FOR WORK and it cost $2 not $20 but $2 and I bit my nails in remorse the whole way home. This was $16.18 and I felt no guilt. None. I'm  still waiting for it but....it's not there. So on this guys website it said "email your receipt for a free gift." Sweet, I like gifts, I email him my receipt and I get an email. Something about a High Performance Academy blah blah blah with videos and shit. Whatevs I'll watch it. 
33 minutes later...a totally new girl is sitting here. So what did this guy say? Well it's alot of info. But he basically says at the end of the video that our mission is to share it so I will share it bit by bit over this next few days. 
So there are basically 6 steps that all High Performing people use. These people are people who build empires, make millions and live totally happy and enlightened lives. I am going to share the 2nd step with you right now. 
"Uh...Arielle, I know math isn't your strongest suit but...where's 1...the number that comes before 2?" Shut up I'm not that dumb. Basically Number 1 is the one you NEED to come back to every day. It is your foundation. So we are doing last. Why? Because Brendon Burchard said to, and he makes the rules. 
The number 2 step that all High Performance people do is "Being Present."
This pretty much smacked me in my face. I am NEVER present. I can't do anything without multi-tasking. Even when I am relaxing I am doing 2 or 3 things at once. 
You need to ENGAGE. Be in the moment. Be in the moment at work. Be in the moment at home. Be in the moment when buying produce. Be in the moment when filling up the gas tank. Stop thinking about everything else you have to do or didn't do or should do and just be in the now. When I am with Brody at home, I need to be engaged towards Brody (I'd also like to BE engaged TO Brody but different story different time...). I need to focus on him, what he saying at the moment. Be EXCITED to be present with him. The question you need to ask yourself every day is: "What level am I in this moment, in terms of emotional and physical vibrancy and presence?" I love the wording of "in terms of emotional and physical vibrancy." Think about it: when you first meet someone you REALLY like, you hang on to every word, you are SO excited and enthusiastic to listen to what they have to say. It shows through your physical body language and your emotions. After awhile it's just not a big deal anymore. Yeah, you care what they have to say but that enthusiasm may not be there. The first little while, when they walk through the door you got giddy and excited, you stopped what you were doing and was just present with them. Now, you say hi and how was their day but you probably don't stop what you are doing. You need to be like how you were the first few weeks EVERYDAY with EVERYTHING. Be excited. Be enthusiastic. With EVERYBODY. Level 1 is you are pretty much everywhere else mentally but in the present. Level 10 is you could not be more present. You are enthusiastic about the present. You are excited about the present. Before you sell, speak, do anything, you need to evaluate your level. If you aren't a level 8,9 or 10...you need to get there. Put down what you are doing and engage. 
My favorite peice of advice about being more engaged to your spouse is called "The 6 Second Kiss." When you or your partner walk in through the door stop everything and kiss them for 6 straight seconds. Why 6 seconds? Why not 5?
1.)It can restore emotional connections with your partner.
2.)It communicate your love in a tangible way.
3.)In 6 seconds your body will release the hormone Oxytocin that makes you feel bliss and a close connection to your partner.
4.) Children who see affection from their parents will most likely make a relationship with the same affection a goal, which in turn will create great relationships later on.
5.) Um....kissing is fun. Why not 6 seconds? Hell do it for 3 minutes! Do a full on french makeout! 
The 6 Second Kiss is a great way to start focusing on the present. My goal is to stop trying to multi task so much. Yeah it's great but it's not being present. I am going to stop allowing Facebook and the computer be the distraction, especially with Brody, when he comes home this week I am going to turn off the computer give him a 6 second kiss (or longer...whatevs...) and be fully engaged and present with him. 
How are you going to be more present? 
I am going to give away one of Brendon Burchard's book of The Charge. Here's how you can win:
Comment on your goals for each step, or how you are accomplishing this step = 1 entry
Share on Facebook and comment here that you shared it = 1 entry
Share it on Twitter and comment here that you shared it (make sure to include @itsme_arielleb in the tweet) = 1 entry
Share it on Pinterest and comment here that you shared it = 1 entry.
I will pick a random winner on March 25th. Make sure you do this for the next 5 posts after this one. GOOD LUCK!!!!
For more information about The Charge by Brendon Burchard and his other books visit: http://www.brendonburchard.com/
Other Sources: "Bite-Size Tip: To Restore and Emotional Connection with a '6 Second Kiss'." http://www.winifredling.com/2012/02/02/bite-size-tip-to-restore-an-emotional-connection-with-a-six-second-kiss/