Monday, February 27, 2012

Nutella, Barbies and Ri-Ri drivers

Ok. This post is a taaaad random. But oh well. PS: I know it's been like 7 months  since my last post. Life sucks, I don't get paid for this shiz...I'm sorry. Moving along.
So first of all I have found the holy grail in a jar. It is called Nutella. For all you barbarians who have no idea what this beautiful creation is, God might smite you for ignoring his glorious creation. And it's like peanut butter, but not disgusting. It's a hazelnut spread with cocoa and milk and it's WONDERFUL. It will solve all your menstruation problems, not really but it does make it more bearable, well, it won't help with cramps but it's delicious. I have used it with popcorn, pretzels, strawberries, apples, toast, cardboard, one night I had nothing in my pantry but Nutella and in my Nutella haze I considered putting it on my cat. Not really. One of my fabulous volunteers at work, works for a candy distributing company and she seriously brought a crapload of Nutella in, it was better than Christmas...and I friggin love Christmas. 

Soooo next thing. This totally popped into my head when I was driving home from Student Orientation today at SLCC (Go Bruins! Whatever that is..)  Anywho, did anyone have a McDonald's playset for their Barbies? They were so cute! They had a button for the drive thru and cute lil' apple pies. Notice that they never wrapped the hamburgers though...weird. Now I don;t want to offend anyone, but have you ever seen ANYONE work at McDonald's that looked like Barbie. No. I bet that Barbie was pissed as HELL. All these other Barbies got to be Doctors and Vets and Teachers (ps: I had the Teacher playset was the I get rid of these because I really want to play with them now...) and this Barbie had to work in greasy ass McDonalds. My theory is she's paying her way through go Barbie! 

Yeah...never seen a Mcdonald's employee like this...or a child so well behaved in McDonalds. 

Again, I'm not saying that people who work at McDonald's are ugly. I love McDonald's, in fact I ate McDonald's today...and it was delicious...not as delicious as Nutella though...but I have never in my years, seen someone who looks like Barbie at McDonalds...but it's a good recruiting tool.
Like I said earlier I was in Taylorsville for my orientation and getting there and back was a friggin challenge. I don't think it's just Utah people now, I just think people are Ri-Ri's. Fo reals. I don't understand why it is sooooooo hard to go the speed limit, or to use a turn signal, or to go when the light turns green! There are 3 to 4 lanes on I-15. The right lane is for all of you ri-ri's who want to drive 65 and under. The middle lane is for the ri-ri's who want to go faster than those on the right and the left lane is for the ri-ris who want to go faster than those in the right AND the middle lane. So if you are going 45 flucking miles per flucking hour DRIVE IN THE RIGHT LANE DOUCHENUGGET. If you are in the left lane and notice that cars coming up behind you are going faster, if it is possible MOVE OVER TO THE MIDDLE OR RIGHT LANE SO WE CAN PASS YOU'RE SLOW MISERABLE ASS, JOCKSTRAP. Also if your car can not go above 65 miles per hour GET A NEW ONE OR DO US ALL A FREAKIN FAVOR AND DON't GO ON THE HIGHWAY SHITHEAD! I swear on my Barbie McDonald's playset if I go one day without losing my freakin mind while I'm driving because of stupid drivers I will by everyone a jar of Nutella. 

I will be making about 100 of these and keeping them in my glove box. I will pass these puppies out like Quiznos Coupons.
This blog post had absolutely no point to them. That's the point. I hope you feel unfulfilled by the time you finished this blog and I hope you say "that was ten minutes I'll never get back." See ya in another 7 months yo!


  1. Oh, Arielle, this is a wonderful example of your attention span when left alone too long. Just kidding! You're so freaking cute.

    1. Aw Thanks Anonymous! YOU'RE SO FREAKING CUTE!