Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Day 2: Not So Hot Either

Oi vey. Right now I am writing this with a horrible case of the hiccups and very nauseous. Which if you have ever been drunk on St.Patties day after drinking 2 pints of beer, and 4...or 5...or 6 shots, you know this is a horrible combination. Oh wait. That was me. Anyways so let's have a a chitty chat about Day 2.

I decided to donate blood. I have been trying to for forever but have been turned down because I either have a new tattoo (I'm such a hoodlum) or I'm always under weight. Not this time bitches. I was a little nervous about the process more than getting turned away this time. See I'm a little weird when it comes to blood and needles. I can watch Grey's Anatomy without flinching, but almost puke when my best friend gets her nose pierced. I can get my nose pierced without getting sick, but pass out in Claire's when I see someone getting their ears pierced. I have had tattoo artists tell me that I'm excellent to work with because I don't wiggle or freak out when I get a tattoo. Nurses probably hate me because if I need an IV or blood drawn, I need my mommy to hold me. So I'm not very consistent on my ick factor. I was mostly scared about passing out so I prepared my self well. I drank a ton of water throughout the day and an hour before I ate a meal packed with protein. While I waited in the waiting room I had a lifesaver. So the blood drawy lady came back and we began our eligibility. She weighed me :117lbs BITCHES! YEAH! HOW BOUT THEM APPLES HUH?! She asked me if that was my goal weight and I told her 130 was and she said she thinks I am the only girl who wants to gain weight instead of lose it. I said I'd rather gain all that in my boobs but whatever. My newest tattoo was done by a state licensed artist (one of the very few in Utah) and was 9 months ago, so it was ok with blood drawy lady. SHWEET! I signed a few papers and we began the process.

She started feeling around for my veins when my tummy said "Oh shit." and I said, "Don't say that." And Tummy said, " yeah. I am not doing to well." And then my brain said, "I feel a teddy bear..." and I said, "Please stop. This is not the time." And my sweat glands said, "We are going to work overtime ok?" And my tummy said, "What goes down must come up." And I said, "Oh shit." And my protein packed meal and my 3 gallons of water decided to see what the inside of the Layton Red Cross Blood Donation center looked like. Particularly their floor. 

Now you know in movies, or most people, when they throw up it's like just a "BLEEEEHHHHAAAHHHH!" I sound like a 15 yr old German Shepard puking up a Cactus. I wish i could be a discreet puker but unfortunately I was not born with the gift. I think the people across the street heard me.

So I was sent home. Going home again, without doing a good deed. But the sweet, probably super annoyed blood drawy lady said I could come back tomorrow! YAAAY! I still feel like a loser. On a good note, I figured out how to keep my cat from eating our poor defenseless 3 foot tall Christmas maybe I did a good deed? I saved Taffy from puking and Brody's wrath if she does puke and I saved our tree from being eaten....yeah still feel like a loser.   

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