Monday, February 25, 2013

High School Never Ends

"The whole damn world is just as obsessed
With who‘s the best dressed and who‘s having sex,
Who‘s got the money, who gets the honeys,
Who‘s kinda cute and who‘s just a mess
And you still don’t have the right look
And you don’t have the right friends
Nothing changes but the faces, the names, and the trends
High school never ends"
-Bowling For Soup

So lately an issue has come to my attention (not lately per say, but I've been focusing on it more recently than usual). My story Wendover (this post is not about unexpected pregnancies or roofies....)
Brody and I went to Wendover a few weekends ago. When we checked into our hotel I changed out of the clothes I was wearing into a cute little red dress. It wasn't like we were going to a fancy restaurant or anything but I thought I would dress up and look nice for my hunny. The first few months of our relationship, he got "cute Arielle". I always had my hair done, my makeup was always pretty, I was always on my "a-game"....yeah. Then 2 things happened:
1.) I was getting really tired of waking up 2 hours before he did so I could brush my teeth and redo my makeup and "go back to sleep"...I'll talk about how girls do stupid things sometimes...remember this little tidbit.
2.) One day I got a HORRIBLE UTI and Kidney infection AND fever all in one shot. I was not putting any effort into my appearance if I was going to die soon (and there were moments when I thought I was actually going to die.)
After that Brody still got "cute Arielle" but eventually it turned into 1 of 2 looks.
1.) Sweats, hair not done, makeup not on.
2.) I'm a a toddler....I leave with clean clothes on and my hair looking presentable...but come home with boogers, finger paint and chocolate on my clothes and my hair thrown into some kind of "not pinterest" worthy bun. 
So I wanted to look cute for my man. Cute red dress. Hair was curled. And I even wore heels. Last time I wore heels....was when we went to a June.  I felt confident and even a little sexy (believe me, I am gangly and awkward, for me to think that I am's a big deal.) Until we got to the casino.
And now a conversation between me and my brain...
"Jesus there's a lot of people I have a boob popping  out?"
"HA! Oh Arielle. Your boobs aren't big enough to pop out."
"Oh something on my face?"
"Nope, not a sign on my back or toilet paper stuck to a shoe..."
"People are thinking one of two things: I hope that guy didn't pay alot for that escort or Wow...escorts in Wendover are realllllly bad..."
"It's o.k. we'll just get to dinner eat and go back up to the hour tops."
"Holy crap....the line for the buffet is like an hour long wait."
"Use your gangly arms to cover your self up!"
"Good idea brain!"
Brody: "Do you have to use the bathroom?"
Me: ""
Brody: "Just the way you're looks like you have to the way you look hot, I've seen like 10 guys check you out."
So we get our table and go get our food. Then we decide to go check out the desserts. I am standing at the dessert counter checking out the selection when I hear a group of girls.
*annoying giggle, annoying giggle* "She looks like a whore."
*annoying giggle, annoying giggle* "She's getting pie! HAHAHAHA! She needs to eat the whole thing, skinny bitch." 
*annoying giggle, annoying giggle* "She actin' a fool trying to wear that dress, maybe with her whore money she should get some boobs."
Alrighty. I am pretty much done.
I shoot the group of girls a dirty look, they shut up (Well aren't you all talk, if a 120 lb girl can shut you up with a look....).
And then I am extremely nice to the girl behind the dessert counter. Because I always thought that if someone is a biotch to you, piss them off more by being extremely nice to other people, so they feel bad about themselves (that's the Christian way....).
The girl behind the counter gave me a pity look and told me she thought I looked pretty. I beamed a "thank you!" to her and went back to my table. 
I was still self- conscious. Brody had sensed a change in my "chi". And asked me what was wrong. I told him about the girls and pointed them out. he laughed and said "THOSE GIRLS WERE MAKING FUN OF HOW YOU LOOK?! Oh hunny, they are jealous." As I got up to leave an older lady told me I looked "divine." Which is probably the best compliment ever. You look pretty= nice. You look gorgeous= amazing. You look DIVINE= are THEE BEST. Our waitress said I looked beautiful and the girl at the desert counter said to me very loudly so the girls could hear, "It's like the swine making fun of a swan, you look very pretty." 
Although my ego was saved, I still had a question. Why? Why would someone waste so much of their energy making fun of someone else? Why would someone make a judgement about someone they never knew? Why do we as adults, still act like we are in Junior high or High School? 
I started noticing this more and more. Everyday in the internet someone is calling Kim Kardashain a whore. I've been guilty of that too. Or making fun of Taylor Swift for dating a ton of guys. WHO CARES?! If you don't know them personally how can you say something like that? And so what T-Swift wants to write about every guy she's dated? You do you Tay Swizzle! (PS: You seriously need to think up some new ideas about performing though. 1.) hold the microphone to your mouth not 6 inches above your head. 2.) the quick clothes changes were cool the first 2 times, now they are getting boring...) We post pictures of people onto our FB pages and make fun of them. And women are constantly the brunt of these jokes. WHY?! Why do we put each other down so much? We always whine and complain about how we should be treated equal to men and blah blah blah. Well maybe, we should start working together as a gender and stop trying to kill each other before making an equality attempt! 
A few days ago in Walmart I was standing in line and two girls behind me said "That bitch too skinny, she ain't no woman, look at ha' nastay skinny arms with ha' nastay ass tattoo. bitch." I finally had enough. "DAMIT! I'm not a real woman?! Shit, I thought I had a real vagina! Well I guess I will have to live with the fact that I had a fake vagina. Silly me, I thought just having one made me a woman. Well if my fake cooter ever pops out a fake daughter I will be sure to tell her that it is her BODY that determines if she is a genuine human being not her character. HORRAY FOR KEEPIN IT REAL LADIES! Ps...get a dictionary." The guy in front of me was dying of laughter and the girls kept their uneducated mouths shut til I was out of the store. Had they spent time with me they would have known a few things:
I am fiercely loyal to my friends, once I am friends with you, I have your back.
I try to be a really nice person, I say hi to the cashier, ask my waitress how's her day, and when I run into my mail man I give him a high-five and ask him how his kids are, I'm not tooting my own horn, that's just how I was raised. 
If you are sad, I will be really annoying and try to get you to laugh. 
I have body issues from time to time, why? Because I am human. I also know that I am a beautiful person and I am worthy of peoples love and time.
But they made this judgement:
I am fake.
I am skinny.
I am nasty.
I am a bitch.
Yes I am skinny. Who gives a shit? Why don't you worry about your life instead of putting input into mine? 
Why does it matter to you if I am fake, or nasty or a bitch? Am I causing a direct problem for you? No. I am standing here with a day planner and hydrogen peroxide waiting to check out so I can go home and get some work done. It is none of your business if I am a real woman or not and last time I really don't get to decide that.
Why are we SO nasty to each other? No wonder why so many people feel like they have nothing to look forward to and decide death is a better option. No wonder why bullying is such a huge issue in our schools. 
So do me a favor. When you have kids, or if you have kids. Teach them to be kind. Teach them that they are beautiful. Teach them that they are worthy. Teach them to not judge others or joke at the expense of others. I know that I do that sometimes. And I am making a pledge to not do it again. Let's start empowering each other. Let's finally graduate from high school mentally. Just because you have the diploma doesn't mean you are now an adult. Grow up. Act like one.

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