Monday, June 24, 2013

Can I Be Fabulous For A Living?

Once upon a time, I had great ambitions. I wanted to be a Lawyer or a Social Worker or a whatever. Blah blah blah. Now...I just want someone to fold my laundry.
For over the last year I was spoiled with my employment, take care of a toddler, take her to the zoo, clean up shit. Whatevs. And then I had to get a real job, where I have to know how to use the computer thingy and do actual thinking stuff. Yeah. I know. So sad.
I am going to let you in on a little secret. I interview amazingly. Like for reals. When I go into a job interview I OWN it. But sometimes it's a curse. Because the guy interviewing you totally thinks you are awesome when in fact you have the IQ of a cucumber. Not even kidding, these last few weeks I have come to realize...I am a total dumbass.
Things don't stick in my brain. I have to be told over and over again. And QuickBooks? OH GOD put me out of my misery!!!
Last night I started to think about how I have never come across something that I can see me doing for the rest of my life. I am not good at anything. Except being sarcastic. And complaining. But the position for Larry David has already been filled so...yeah.
                                                                Oh Larry, you slay me..

So as I am writing this list I started to really think, "What am I good at? What do I LIKE to do?" I ended up throwing my list away because the following would not get me a career:
  • Eating Chocolate
  • Eating Pie
  • Eating food
  • Petting Puppies
  • Petting Kitties
  • Petting fluffy animals
  • Sleeping
  • Watching Disney movies
  • Watching Bravo! Reality shows
  • Reading Books
Unless there is a petting zoo/ chocolate factory where we can take naps and watch Disney Ok.
The closest thing I could get to was working at a library...but I'd actually have to do stuff...not just read books.
I honestly wonder where the hell that ambitious girl went. What the EFF little girl? You were supposed to make us bukoo bucks!
I am now to the point of frustration because I want to be doing something I love and I want to do it for the rest of my working career. I'm also frustrated because I do not know what that is. I would love to write for a living but I don't even know what to write about. I don't think anyone will pay me to write about how my cat steals cake and I'm too shy to shit in front of my boyfriend. That'd be cool though.
Last night in my frustration my little brain said, "OHEMGEE ARIELLE! We could like totally like, be like a housewife! TEEHEE!" (Told ya I was dumb...) Yes brain that would totally work because sitting on my ass all day will pay the rent!
I am working on this thing were I realize that I am not my job. I am not defined by what I do or how much money is in my bank account. It's a work in progress.
I'm sure a lot of you have been in this situation. Or you ARE in this situation. Either way feel free to comment about it and we can all cry on each others shoulder and eat nutella from the jar. Until then, I am going back to scheming of a way to get Bravo to do a Real Housewives of Utah...


  1. Oh honey, I feel the same way. Every time I get pissed at my job I try to work harder on my blog since that's a super realistic career path :)

    1. YES! Me too. Soon we will be fabulous bloggers working from home in our pjs and eating truffles!