Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Learning To Dance in The Rain

We only have Top Ramen and Eggo Waffles for food in the house. I shed some tears thinking about how I am going to put gas in my car to get me to work...if the car would even start. We don't have any tv to watch as we are selling it for earnest money. Oh and the credit card company calling me today demanding I pay my balance or they'll pursue legal action, wasn't really a great add on to my day either. The apartment is cluttered and filthy and it seems like no matter how many times I clean a surface, it just gets dirty again. 
We had quite a few panic attacks today, going over the loan, paying for the earnest check and the appraisal, figuring out when we will be able to buy groceries. 
After an afternoon of freak out after freak out I finally came to a conclusion.
We have more food than a lot of people. I am lucky enough to have a car so I can get to work (hopefully), there are people that do not have a roof over their heads, yet, we are living under one AND we are buying one. We have more money than most people do. Did I make extremely stupid decisions with my money? For the most part. I couldn't help the part about the medical bills. 
It is OK to be stressed. It is OK to be over-whelmed. It is NOT OK to stay in that state forever. Own this feeling, be aware that you are feeling it, and then....let it go. 
We have no control over 90% of the things that happen in our life. Complaining over our lack of food choices isn't going to make food magically appear. Crying over not having money isn't going to make money appear either. We have to realize what is important and focus on the positive.

We only have a few weeks left of this mess. And then we will be more financially free. Not completely, but more than we have been. We will be OWNING a home. We won't have to listen to a landlord, we won't have to wait for approvals to do things. We won't be shelling out almost $1000 for something we can't say is ours. That's amazing!
And I have to say through everything we have been through with our finances, I am SO grateful for the relationship I have with Brody. Not many couples would have gotten this far. We don't blame each other for things that happen in the past, it won't solve anything. We work together to find a solution. We have respect for each other. I always knew that money is the #1 reason people end relationships and honestly, if we haven't ended things now, I don't think that we ever will. A lot of couples would have ended it and saw that as the easy way out. I don't want my relationship to be easy. I want it to be STRONG.
I have learned to let go of things a lot more. I have a conversation with God and say, "I have no idea what to do with this problem you gave me, I have tried looking at every angle. I trust in you enough to give this problem to you and you will show me the way to the solution." After saying this, I feel so much better. And I have noticed that I will find the perfect solution soon after.

I have choices in how I feel everyday. And I have choices in how I deal with problems. I choose to feel happy, positive, grateful and loving. I choose to deal with my problems full of love and positivity. I am not a Zen master so it does take some extra practice and reminders. But tonight I choose to be grateful for my wonderful partner in crime and the amazing new chapter that is being written for us and tomorrow I will choose to be grateful for the yummy Top Ramen in the pantry. And so it is!


  1. Great post! Found this post on SITS... under the post on how to find blogging jobs. I am a fairly new blogger that has fallen off of the bloggy wagon for a couple months out of frustration. But I am on my way back, I checked my stats and believe it or not they have not fell, so before they do I am jumping back on board! Visit me at new post to come soon,

    1. Thanks Margaret! I still get frustrated with blogging stuff but good thing we have SITS they are awesome!! I'm looking forward to following your blog. Good luck to ya!

  2. So happy for you guys on your journey to home ownership! It will definitely be a much better feeling than tossing thousands of dollars a year into something you know you aren't going to/can't keep. Three cheers for home ownership!

    Your blogs are still tons of fun. Haven't been here for a little while, but whenever I come back I'm always reminded why I do :) Keep up the good work