Sunday, January 23, 2011

127 Things You MUST Remember On A Date

So over the weekend (which it is still for 1 more hour), I went on a blind date. Kinda. It was my friends 33rd and fabulous birthday and we went to Kamikazes to check out a band, and the trumpet player whom we were hoping would turn out to be my friend's special b-day present but actually just turned out to be your run of the mill musician (big ego, lots of chicks blah blah blah). Whilst (yes I said "whilst") we were there my friend had me meet a friend of hers. Being totally honest with you, I would never think I would see myself with a guy like him. He's kind of a hick but what was really nice for change is that he was respectful and didn't make it his objective to get in my pants by the time the band was off stage. Or if it was he hid it well and it failed. Mostly because I had a terrible head cold (which I still have) and I don't pop my cork for every guy I see (name that musical!!!). The band was crazy loud, which could kill a first date, or in my case a 1st meeting, so we went to the other side of the bar and tried to talk. Let's just say it ended well because we are going out again tomorrow.
I have this habit when it comes to dating. I have no idea if I'm interested in the guy or the attention the guy is giving to me. Which I feel makes me a horrible person. Mostly because if it turns out that I'm being an attention whore than I'm totally leading the poor guy on. And I never want to intentionally do that! I think it's because I'm so not used to having the attention so when someone is offering this dog a bone I will do every trick in the book. Roll over, play dead, sit, stay, fetch the paper. So instead of listening to my ego (which is reeeeeaaallllyyyy loud sometimes) I'm going to attempt to listen to my gut. Because 85% of the time my gut is right. I think.
That is not my only problem when it comes to being a single gal. When I prepare for a date it's better to tell me 10 minutes before rather than 10 days. Because for those 10 days I turn into a lunatic. Teeth whitening treatments, hair treatments, extra time working out at the gym and hours upon hours of research of "what a guy really notices" in Cosmo. Yes, I have grown this disgusting addiction to Cosmo magazine. A guy friend once told me that he reads Cosmo to find out what turns him on and what he likes in the girl. Meaning that those glossy pages of step by step instructions are BS. I vowed that I would never turn to a magazine to see how dateable I am and how I can be the freakin hottest woman in the room and yet I found myself mulling for hours over the pages and then (yes we are getting drastic) going on to learn more! Now I'm freaking out over what to text back and what restaurant to choose and how I should pluck my eyebrows and will he notice my roots and what jeans will make my butt look amazing. And when did I start compromising myself for a guy?! I'm going to say what comes to my mind and he doesn't have to like it or accept it. My ass is my ass and sorry but I'm not going to change it. I want BBQ ribs I will have BBQ ribs. I'm loud and obnoxious if you know me and if you don't you have to practically water board me to get me to speak. I don't care if I'm not what the majority of men want. Because I don't want the majority of men. I want one who is going to deal with my quirks and my girlish antics and the fact that I hate beer and don't like the taste of alcohol and in no way am I a bad ass. He's not going to care that my spine resembles a crazy straw or I break out in hives for no damn reason. He's going to care that I laugh at everything and I'm insanely loyal to the one's I love and I'm a driven individual. So as I finish typing this (as much as it pains me) I am closing the tab that opens to the article "What To Do And What Not To Do On The 2nd Date :How To Hook Him". I'm not a project for a magazine. I am me and if he doesn't like it on the 2nd date, he's not going to like it on the 3rd or the 4th or the 5th. And honestly that's ok. Tomorrow night I am going to be the awesome Arielle Boardman and I'm going to have fun and see where it goes without having any expectations. Why worry about where life's going to take you? Isn't that mystery the most fun part of life?

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