Saturday, March 16, 2013

Be Present and Win Stuff YAAAAY!

So for those of you who don't know, I'm back to doing Slumber Parties (for a while now but...whatevs). Anywho, so convention is in Vegas on Thursday (EEEEEK SO EXCITED!) and to earn a little extra dough I thought I'd throw a party at my place. I  put together a cute gift basket, scrubbed the apartment for like 6 hours, yada yada yada. I had like 20 girls RSVP....3 showed up. Kill. Me. Now. It ended up working out fine and I really enjoyed it and was SO happy to see the girls who came. But I was also kiiiiiiinda pissed. I had friends who knew about the party like a month ago and totally flaked and it was just really annoying. 
Afterwards I get on the phone and call my girl Kirshna, who has just moved to Kansas and was really bummed they couldn't wait another week so she can make it. 
"Our house has a storm cellar. I want to leave."
"You could totally get a little black dog and dress up like Dorthy!"
"No. That would be stupid. How'd your party go? I'm really mad I missed it."
"People flaked. 3 people showed up and I'm really glad they did and it means SO much to me but yeah...still a little pissed. Now I'm all discouraged and I don't know if I can be successful...."
"Baby girl, the actions of other people do not define your success, once you allow it to, you no longer want to be successful. YOU make your success."
"Ar, are you there?"
"That was deep. Holy shit, that wasn't even like Oprah or Dr. Phil deep, that was Dali Lama deep."
"Thanks...I try."
"That really helped me, a lot. Thank you!!"
After whining about how much we missed each other we hung up and I logged on to Facebook. All of a sudden a Facebook page popped up, I must have accidentally clicked on it. It was a page for Brendon Burchard. He was some motivational speaker. He wrote a book called The Charge. I have no idea what possessed me but I said to myself, "I want that book.' And found myself buying it on Amazon....I haven't done that in forever. Everytime I want to buy something I don't NEED I mull it over for days and days and day. 70% of the time I don't buy it. The other 30% I do but then I spend a week in guilt. Pure, nasty, "Irish-Catholic-grandmother-found-out-you-were-having-a-baby-out-of-wedlock-and-the-father's-a-Baptist" guilt. I bought 2 dresses that I NEED FOR WORK and it cost $2 not $20 but $2 and I bit my nails in remorse the whole way home. This was $16.18 and I felt no guilt. None. I'm  still waiting for it's not there. So on this guys website it said "email your receipt for a free gift." Sweet, I like gifts, I email him my receipt and I get an email. Something about a High Performance Academy blah blah blah with videos and shit. Whatevs I'll watch it. 
33 minutes later...a totally new girl is sitting here. So what did this guy say? Well it's alot of info. But he basically says at the end of the video that our mission is to share it so I will share it bit by bit over this next few days. 
So there are basically 6 steps that all High Performing people use. These people are people who build empires, make millions and live totally happy and enlightened lives. I am going to share the 2nd step with you right now. 
"Uh...Arielle, I know math isn't your strongest suit but...where's 1...the number that comes before 2?" Shut up I'm not that dumb. Basically Number 1 is the one you NEED to come back to every day. It is your foundation. So we are doing last. Why? Because Brendon Burchard said to, and he makes the rules. 
The number 2 step that all High Performance people do is "Being Present."
This pretty much smacked me in my face. I am NEVER present. I can't do anything without multi-tasking. Even when I am relaxing I am doing 2 or 3 things at once. 
You need to ENGAGE. Be in the moment. Be in the moment at work. Be in the moment at home. Be in the moment when buying produce. Be in the moment when filling up the gas tank. Stop thinking about everything else you have to do or didn't do or should do and just be in the now. When I am with Brody at home, I need to be engaged towards Brody (I'd also like to BE engaged TO Brody but different story different time...). I need to focus on him, what he saying at the moment. Be EXCITED to be present with him. The question you need to ask yourself every day is: "What level am I in this moment, in terms of emotional and physical vibrancy and presence?" I love the wording of "in terms of emotional and physical vibrancy." Think about it: when you first meet someone you REALLY like, you hang on to every word, you are SO excited and enthusiastic to listen to what they have to say. It shows through your physical body language and your emotions. After awhile it's just not a big deal anymore. Yeah, you care what they have to say but that enthusiasm may not be there. The first little while, when they walk through the door you got giddy and excited, you stopped what you were doing and was just present with them. Now, you say hi and how was their day but you probably don't stop what you are doing. You need to be like how you were the first few weeks EVERYDAY with EVERYTHING. Be excited. Be enthusiastic. With EVERYBODY. Level 1 is you are pretty much everywhere else mentally but in the present. Level 10 is you could not be more present. You are enthusiastic about the present. You are excited about the present. Before you sell, speak, do anything, you need to evaluate your level. If you aren't a level 8,9 or need to get there. Put down what you are doing and engage. 
My favorite peice of advice about being more engaged to your spouse is called "The 6 Second Kiss." When you or your partner walk in through the door stop everything and kiss them for 6 straight seconds. Why 6 seconds? Why not 5?
1.)It can restore emotional connections with your partner.
2.)It communicate your love in a tangible way.
3.)In 6 seconds your body will release the hormone Oxytocin that makes you feel bliss and a close connection to your partner.
4.) Children who see affection from their parents will most likely make a relationship with the same affection a goal, which in turn will create great relationships later on.
5.) Um....kissing is fun. Why not 6 seconds? Hell do it for 3 minutes! Do a full on french makeout! 
The 6 Second Kiss is a great way to start focusing on the present. My goal is to stop trying to multi task so much. Yeah it's great but it's not being present. I am going to stop allowing Facebook and the computer be the distraction, especially with Brody, when he comes home this week I am going to turn off the computer give him a 6 second kiss (or longer...whatevs...) and be fully engaged and present with him. 
How are you going to be more present? 
I am going to give away one of Brendon Burchard's book of The Charge. Here's how you can win:
Comment on your goals for each step, or how you are accomplishing this step = 1 entry
Share on Facebook and comment here that you shared it = 1 entry
Share it on Twitter and comment here that you shared it (make sure to include @itsme_arielleb in the tweet) = 1 entry
Share it on Pinterest and comment here that you shared it = 1 entry.
I will pick a random winner on March 25th. Make sure you do this for the next 5 posts after this one. GOOD LUCK!!!!
For more information about The Charge by Brendon Burchard and his other books visit:
Other Sources: "Bite-Size Tip: To Restore and Emotional Connection with a '6 Second Kiss'."

1 comment:

  1. Wow Arielle this was really great! I really needed to hear all of that. I'm excited to hear more about it. Oh and I share on Facebook!