Thursday, January 17, 2013

Why Utah Is Literally Killing Me and Why I LOVE YOUUUUU!

So I'm not sure if I talked about this in an earlier post, and I'm too lazy to check, but I am literally allergic to the cold. Like not even kidding. Fo'realsyo. It's called Cold Urticaria. When I was 19 I woke up one morning in my dorm room and I had red bumps EVERYWHERE. it freaked me out. I called my mom bawling and she had no idea what to do. Every day I'd wake up with these bumps and they burned and itched. I wore scarfs and long sleeves so no one could see them. I thought I had a flesh eating disease. We went to an allergist and he did an allergy test. I broke out everywhere, I was allergic to grass, trees, horses, basically any animal, denim, cotton, nickle, copper, things I was never allergic to before now sent me into a huge allergy attack. It was insane. That summer I broke out in hives everyday. Any kind of sunscreen I put on would make me break out more. So I returned to the doctor and he said "you basically have a mild allergy to the sun."
"But I'm also allergic to sunscreen." 
"Sooooooo what do I do?" 
"Honestly, i have no idea. I have never seen this before." 
"I'm basically a 20/20 special?" 
My mom had a brilliant idea to try a sunscreen with like something crazy special in it and it worked. So that solved that problem. Later we found out that I also had an intolerance to progesterone. A hormone THAT IS IN MY BODY. I AM NOW ALLERGIC TO MY OWN FRIGGIN BODY!!!! My doctor said that I could never have my period and stay on birth control oooorrr just pop out babies til kingdom come. 
It's been a few years and I can now have a period without puking up stomach acid and having hives in my throat (ask anybody about our trip to Disneyland...the ride on the way there was HORRIBLE). I can wear jeans without my legs itching. And as long as I take my daily allergy pill in the morning I can pet all the horsies and kitties and puppies I want. But I still have the whole freaky sun allergy. So this week, I go to my doctor's office to pick up my savings card for my birth control. My feet are swollen and I am limping like Quasimodo.  
"What's wrong with your legs?" asks my Doctor. 
"Oh, they're cold, they swell up when they're cold." 
"Doesn't everybody swell up when they are cold?" 
"NO! What is wrong with you?" 
"You're the doctor, you should have the answer to that." 
I told her that when I get cold I swell up, or when I eat something cold my tongue gets itchy and swells up or when me feet and hands get cold they get itchy and swell up. She leaves and comes back a minute later with an ice cube and has me roll up my sleeve. She holds the ice to my upper arm and says 
"In about 30 seconds to a minute we sho....." 
"Wow, that took like 5 seconds!" 
"What?" My arm now itches terribly and now it is swollen. She leaves again and comes back with another doctor. 
"Wow. This is interesting. I haven't seen this in person before." 
"Yes, I am a freak of nature, it's wonderful. Listen, I just want to get my magic card that makes my birth control" 
"You have Cold Urticaria." "I'm sure I do. I also have a thing where my ligaments don't function properly so my eyeballs could fall out any minute and my heart could snap in half, if I try really hard I could probably show you." 
Doctors don't get sarcasm. 
So they both go on to explain that I am allergic to the cold. 
"I live in a place that is cold. And let me remind you that I am also allergic to the sun's heat." "Yes." 
"So I'm just supposed to live where it's between 50 and 70 degrees all the time.?" 
"Or you can switch to gluten free, cut out pastas and bread and other wheat foods." Silence...silence..."So I'm supposed to live where it's 50 and 70 degrees all the time?" 
"Or become gluten free." 
Silence...silence..."Where the hell on this planet is it between 50 and 70 degrees all the time?" "Why can't you just maintain a gluten free diet?" 
"I'm pretty sure that half my body is not made up of's made up of noodles. Completely out of the question." 
So that night I went home and googled "US cities with Mild Weather and has a Chilis restaurant and good grocery stores with a Helicopter Pilot school within 30 miles and a good housing market". Google laughed at me. What a whore google. 
The closest thing to my search was Eastern Washington. Western Washington is too cold. That seems fine to me. It not totally far away from Utah, It's like 6 hours from the ocean. There's a helicopter school close by and the housing market is decent. I have no idea if there is a Chili's or how great the grocery stores are. But there is one really important question that has to be answered before we make a huge step and move out of state: Do they sell liquor in the grocery stores? Because if I can't live in Utah, I want to at least move somewhere with better liquor laws...meaning looser liquor laws. 
Now don't freak out (I mean you mom and mom in law to be (hopefully soon...)). Brody and I talked about it for like 10 seconds and it's not even a serious thing we are thinking about. But it really does suck to have my tongue swell up and become nauseous because the walk from the parking lot to the grocery store is freezing cold. I'd rather move than have to experience swollen hands every time I drive between the months of November and March, because the steering wheel is too cold. Just saying....
Moving on from my abnormalities. I have had an exhausting week. I get home from work so tired, muster up some motivation to make dinner, even though Monday we had pizza and last night we made microwaved dinners, and try to unwind from the day before I go to bed. We've been stressed about money (no surprise there), and we've just been in a rut lately. Tonight was one of those nights. So as I sat down to watch Grey's Anatomy I turned on my computer to finish this post. And I had a bunch of emails and messages and comments from all you beautiful people. I got choked up. I started blogging because I was bored and I needed to vent about things, I didn't have to much to say and didn't think anyone would listen. But people started to listen, and I realized I had a lot of power. I could use it to inform people, or just to make people laugh. That was a gift I was given at a young age. I could make people laugh. And maybe there is a person out there who reads these and says "oh my hell I can totally relate to that." And they know that they are not the only ones who can't cook or make coasters out of wine corks or are trying to figure out how to stretch a paycheck. You guys have made it all worth it. The hours of figuring out what the hell I am going to write about today because I live a pretty boring life. The days spent emailing and going to businesses about sponsoring my blog. You. Make. It. Worth. It. One day I hope my writing is on a larger scale. And I will not forget who put me there. You guys did. I'm not a famous blogger nor am I considered a professional or popular blogger. But I do feel that I have the best readers and I do feel that I am the luckiest. I hope you have days when you are feeling down and you read my blog and it makes you smile. That's why it is here. Not only to share Mine and Brody's life with people who we don't see very much, but also to brighten your day. Thank you for the love and the support of this blog. I can't even tell you how much love I feel for all of you. Thank you. 
On a lighter note, my cat just jumped on the couch and it scared the shit out of me and I screamed like a 3 yr old girl who just watched The Brave Little Toaster for the first time (DO NOT tell me that movie wasn't scarey as shit.). Not only did I wake up Brody, but my neighbors came to check on me....Nice to know they care!


  1. Love you Arielle...and don't worry I will protect you from the scary Taffy and Brave Little Toaster. :)

  2. The radiator fro the Brave Little Toaster gave us ALL nightmares. Also, I agree, gluten-free is really hard to maintain. People make it sound like the next big move toward dieting, so of course companies that make gluten-free things are charging a helluva lot MORE for a product that has FEWER ingredients. However, if you want to do the whole gluten-free thing ONCE in awhile I know Smith's is selling gluten-free stuff in their pasta aisle, and sometimes you can get coupons online.

    Also, I support you going somewhere that's not too warm or cold and has looser liquor laws...whatever makes you happy! :D